


The Candle Shines Anew

by mihrsuri



Category: The Tudors (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Child Death, Drama, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Introspection, Multi, OT3, Tumblr Prompt, Unrefridgerating Awesome Women
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2020-12-21 04:21:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 29,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21068762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihrsuri/pseuds/mihrsuri
Summary: From everyone but their father, came a poisonous thought and Anne feels her heart break all over again. Henry believed it, believed she and Tom had betrayed him, even though he claimed to care nothing for them. It seemed, she thought bleakly, we must be Henry’s or we must be no ones, no matter if he still wants us or not. [The OT3 Verse Take On The Last Minute Pardon Story]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kawuli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawuli/gifts).

It was some small consolation that the people, that even the court were behind her - she might be going to her death, she might no longer be a Queen but at least Anne would know that her children would grow up hearing well of her.

From everyone but their father, came a poisonous thought and Anne feels her heart break all over again. Henry believed it, believed she and Tom had betrayed him, even though he claimed to care nothing for them. It seemed, she thought bleakly, we must be Henry’s or we must be no ones, no matter if he still wants us or not.

The charges had been absurd. Of course they had - absurd enough that the court convened to try them had refused to show their faces and then in the end, there had been no trial. Merely the word of the Seymours and an act of attainder. Henry, Henry had signed it. Her love, the father of her children, had decided she was to die.

Anne has tried not to think of it. Of her children, of Thomas, of Henry, of her earthly life but she finds she cannot stop, even now, as her weeping maids dress her for the scaffold. A scaffold. A French Swordsmen. A final mercy, she is told and perhaps it is - that she and Tom will die by the same blade - painless and in an instant.

That is all I have now, Anne thinks, but it is comforting, somehow and at least she is dry eyed, her voice steady when Master Kingston tells her it is time. Lord, I am ready, Anne thinks - I trust in you that my love and I may go in peace.

It is strange, to walk out on to Tower Green to die but to still notice the sun and the green of the trees. To feel spring, when you will soon be gone from the world. Anne hardly notices the weeping crowds, hardly notices herself handing out alms. She is thinking of the warmth on her skin, of how she is glad that at the least, her family is not here to see this - that they are safe and far from here. She thinks of Bess - her little girl, of Tommy, who had been in her arms so briefly after his birth - she wonders what kind of people they will grow into. The Lord will surely let Thomas and I watch over them, she thinks, for the Lord is kind.

Anne thinks this through her speech, through comforting her sobbing maids, through seeing Charles Brandon’s tear filled eyes, through the removal of her jewels, of her robe. Through her kneeling. She cannot think of Thomas being here after her. She cannot think of him dying like this. She cannot think of him, of her children but it is all she can think of and Anne wills herself to calm - though she knows on the outside nothing shows.

I will die as a Queen, she thinks. Let my children have that, at least.

She does not notice Henry, at first, not even through the stirring of the crowd and when she does, she feels herself tremble - surely, surely he cannot be so cruel as to watch them die? Surely not. His words hardly register until she hears the words “innocent of all charges” and then, then the world goes black for a moment.

* * *

Mercy. Mercy. Thomas Cromwell would use all his eloquence for Anne, would beg upon his knees that she might be spared but it would do no good. Not now, at this last. He had written anyway - had written pages that Master Kingston had taken with a sad look that they both knew meant it would never be delivered. They would never chance Hen..the Kin…they would never chance that it might be read.

It could have been the noose and the butchers knife for him but no, Thomas thinks, he gives this last mercy - a French Swordsman and this last cruelty, to watch Anne die before him. To know that they would clean her blood from the scaffold before he would ascend it. To know that he could not give Anne the comfort of being by her side in her last moments. 

He hurts, in every part of him and there is a side of him that thinks, perhaps, perhaps my ghosts were right - I am nothing but a grasping gutter rut who has reached beyond his station and made others pay. Perhaps I should have stayed where he told me I belonged, except I cannot find it in myself to regret loving Anne or…I cannot even find it in myself to not love Henry, though I should not, not after this. And yet, I cannot dislodge him from my heart, even now. 

Thomas Cromwell is not allowed to watch Anne die after all. He prays instead, silently inside his head, not wishing to give the world any more of his soul. This love, this last testament to his beautiful bright star of a Queen, to…to their children is for the Lord alone and no other. Thomas Cromwell will not have priests, will not have Latin verse or confession. He will have these prayers, he will have the memories and perhaps he can lose himself in happy dreams until the blade does it’s work. 

Nora, Grace - my oldest girls - I will see you soon - I hope the Lord will see that I know you, even if you may have grown in heaven. Liz, I know you will smile at me for my worries. Anne. Anne. My own heart, my star. I hope there was no pain, at least. He cannot think of Gregory, of Bess, of his own namesake child because then, Thomas Cromwell thinks, I will break into pieces so he thinks on nothing at all. 

Except. Except. Henry. Henry. Henry. It echoes through him, even when Master Kingston comes with the news of a pardon for them both and Thomas Cromwell almost shatters with it's delivery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Title comes from a song called Candleburn by Dishwalla which features in an amazing fanvid by MistressQ that also helped inform the writing of this fic.  
-Mercy, Mercy is taken from the letter that Thomas writes in The Tudors canon asking for clemency  
-Nora & Grace = Thomas Cromwells two daughters who died (his older daughter was actually named Anne but for reasons of writers confusion I have decided she had a nickname - hence Nora)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry tells himself that he feels nothing at all [HENRY TUDOR MAKE BETTER LIFE CHOICES CHALLENGE]

Henry awakens in terror and decides, looking at Thomas sleeping against his chest and his wife curled against the other man that he was wrong. It is Jane he loves, it must be Jane he loves. Anne is outspoken and dark and she has not given him a son, just as Catherine had not. Even if she carries this pregnancy to term, he is sure she…it cannot be, he tells himself. He needs a new wife - a wife he loves, who knows her place and will not meddle and he will forget this passing fancy, for it is Jane who holds his heart.

Henry Tudor sneaks quietly away that morning, not looking back and seeks to find a suitable candidate to draw up the divorce papers. It must be sooner rather than later - so he can wed his Jane and he will brook no opposition. Not this time, for he needs a son and soon. 

What happens is that, it is clear that no one but his beloved Jane and her family are happy with this turn of events but they all hide it and Henry, too caught up in visions of a sweet, obedient golden Queen and the sons they will have, does not notice. But he still feels a rush of disappointment when Anne, tears sparkling at the edge of her eyes tells him that if it is his wish she will obey, of course. He had expected his wife to fight (if there was one thing he has never doubted about Anne, it was that she loved him) but she is perfectly obedient and...Henry tells himself it cannot be that it troubles him. 

It does not trouble him at all. 

Anne will be known as Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Pembroke. She will keep the lands and funds he had bestowed upon her when he had gifted her the title and Elizabeth will remain legitimate. She will also reside with Anne, a condition he grants with reluctance but he knows that if Anne would resist anything, it would be losing her daughter and Henry tells himself he does not want a fight. 

(He had hoped that Jane could become more of a mother to little Elizabeth - he felt she would be a better example of womanhood than Anne but it could still be true). 

She signs the papers and Henry tells himself that he feels nothing at all. 

-

When Thomas Cromwell comes to resign his office and to ask if he might reside with Anne at Pembroke as her secretary, Henry has to stop a moment. He stops. He tells himself that it matters not - it was a passing fancy he had, nothing more. It is merely that it stings that this man should bypass the advancement and favour of a King for...for Anne. 

Henry tells himself it is nothing more than that, nothing more than the smarting loss of a lowly commoner who had had the great privilege of royal favour and had chosen to spurn it. It is nothing more than that. 

He agrees and ignores the sense of loss in favour of seeking out Jane. For he has lost nothing, Henry tells himself. He has everything he could ever wish for now, but he still fumes that Thomas and Anne had not fought it. Had not fought for him, for all they claim to love him so much. 

-

Henry watches his brother in all but blood disapprove silently, watches his sister do the same, watches his court and his people look coldly upon Jane and wants to scream. Why can they not all see that this is for the best - that Anne was never going to be able to give the country the prince it needed, that however much she might have been a good Queen it mattered not at all. 

He tells himself he does not miss Anne or Thomas Cromwell at all, even as they keep their distance from him as Anne prepares to leave for Pembroke. It is then that the Seymour come to him with rumours they have heard from their sister Dorothy. Rumours about Anne and Thomas. Rumours about heretical books and about other things. Things that fill Henry with rage, because they are his. They have always been his and they should not seek to be otherwise. He will not have it. 

Henry tells himself he feels nothing when he signs the arrest warrants.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane knows she is beautiful in it, knows she is the golden Queen of Henry’s heart as she has known nothing else in her life, because she has been noticed. She is loved and treasured and someone thinks she is beautiful.

Jane had been living in a golden dream, she knows that now but at the time? At the time nothing had mattered - she had felt as happy as she could ever remember being. She was to marry her Henry, was going to become Queen Jane. She had even dreamed about being named Good Queen Jane for restoring the Church to its rightful place - of being a Queen like the stories Henry had told of his mother Elizabeth of York. 

She had barely noticed anything outside of her dreams - when Henry had said he wished for her to spend the months before their marriage in the country - ”It will take some time to organise a royal wedding my darling, I want you to have the time away from court” he had said and Jane had beamed, only thinking she was so blessed to have a husband to be who cared so for her welfare and would think to give her respite and rest before her life changed forever. 

And so Jane spent those months in the luxurious surrounds of a manor house - there were picnics, boating and walks in the gardens as well as rides and on the days when it rained she would embroider or sew and her sisters would tell stories or her ladies would play for her. And Henry visited almost every day - he would dance with her or have musicians play or they would simply walk together in the gardens (”My sweet pure Guinevere” he told her, kissing her hand “Soon we will be together”) and Jane felt she was in a fairy story. 

Henry gave her fabrics, jewels and a sweet puppy. It seemed she only needed to speak of something taking her fancy and he would indulge it - from roses and pearls for her hair to the finest thread for her embroidery, to sweets and a pretty pair of hair combs. And then there is her wedding gown - Jane had wanted it to echo the gown she had worn when they had first met so it is white - but this time it is white silk that almost floats it is so light, embroidered all over with pearls and shot through with gold thread. 

Jane knows she is beautiful in it, knows she is the golden Queen of Henry’s heart as she has known nothing else in her life, because she has been noticed. She is loved and treasured and someone thinks she is beautiful. 

And then one day in May her world comes crashing down and she stares at her sister Dorothy in horror. 

“ I thought it would make them love you, Janie instead of Lady Anne - that they would see that you would be the Queen they needed!” 

Jane is numb, numb - surely this cannot be her sister, who is speaking of such things but no, the words keep coming. 

“Hasn’t it been worth it - you can marry the man you love and our family will rise and a half Seymour child will be a Prince - perhaps even King one day. We can stem the tide of heresy, Jane - isn’t that worth a small cost? Thomas and Edward told me - they were never going to accept a simple divorce, no matter what the Lady Anne agreed to - this way the Lady Anne won’t get her claws back into the King...”

Dorothy never finishes what she is going to say before she feels the slap and looks at her sister, her mild mannered sweet sister and can see the anger in her face. It shocks her into silence but not for long. 

“Oh for heavens sake Jane, don’t play the innocent - you know they all hate you. You know what the people are singing in the streets about you - the shameless little slut who nearly killed the Queens child because she set out to do so. We had to do something.”

“Get out. Get out.” Jane almost screams it, almost throws something at her sister and stands there, the shards of her golden dreams at her feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Jane's wedding dress design is half modelled off her gown in The Tudors S3.   
-The author would like to note that she does not endorse the populaces attitude to Jane at all  
-Basically, HENRY TUDOR MAKE BETTER LIFE CHOICES DOT GIF.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne admires herself for the way she only stumbles slightly on the word ‘kindness’ but she knows she cannot afford to be anything other than grateful - she and Tom know the cost of displeasing the King now and she will not chance anything other than gratitude, at least on the surface.

Henry had thought, at first that it was...that it was some kind of poorly timed jest, that his betrothed’s sister could not possibly be saying such things, especially to his sweet Jane. But as he listened further, he began to realise, with dawning horror that it was no jest, no dream or fancy. 

(He had come with none of the usual fanfare that accompanied his entrance and only a few guards and had thus not alerted anyone in the manor to his presence as he had wished to surprise Jane and so when he stood in the doorway to her chambers, entirely unnoticed he had heard the entirety of the conversation)

It seemed that nothing was what it had seemed. 

“I won’t leave Jane - I won’t have you ruining everything the family has worked for because you...”

“I fell in love with him Dorothy! He fell in love with me, he listened to me - do you understand. That’s all I wanted, to marry a man who loved me and you have all...how could you.”

“I did my duty” Henry had never heard the hateful tone in Dorothy Seymour’s voice before and he was taken aback at it. “Just as you will, you stupid girl - you will wed his majesty, you will smile and you will say nothing, do you hear me?” 

Then her voice turned coaxing, almost gentle. “Come now Jane, surely this is no bad thing - you will have two little children to practice your mothering on and it’s not as though you are not getting everything you have ever wanted - is it so terrible that some blood must be shed for the greater good - after all it was what the King wanted...”

Henry, Henry stops then. He barely hears the rest of what Dorothy says, hardly hears himself ordering the guards to arrest the Seymours, hardly remembers making his way to the palace. Hardly remembers any of it. 

They had thought he had wanted this. They had thought that he would wish to wed over the blood of the mother of his children and...his...and The Lord Chancellor. They had thought he wished to send...had he truly seemed such a monster, that the Seymours would think this was what he wished? Rage replaces numbness then. Rage and misery and...perhaps, he thinks, perhaps I can still marry my Jane - at least she loves me truly and had no knowledge of any of this. 

He will give Anne and...he will give Anne and Tom every honour he had intended before the Seymours bought their accusations to him, he will give them an honourable exile, will even give Anne custody of Elizabeth and their new child, who has, to his surprise, lived to be born. 

Perhaps, perhaps he thinks, it was The Lord sending me a sign of their innocence. Yes, this he could well do - pardon them and proclaim Jane innocent of her families schemes and then marry her as he had intended - the people and the court would come around when they realised how Jane had been maligned and misused by her family and then they would love her as they should. 

Surely that is the right thing to do, Henry thinks. Surely that is what I want above all things - it must be what I want.

* * *

When Anne awakens to cold damp walls and narrow slits for windows her first thought is that this does not fell like heaven or hell - that perhaps she is merely doomed to be a ghost in the Tower until she fades away at last. Her second thought is to ask if her execution has been delayed. 

“No your...my lady” Master Kingston says, stumbling over the title he feels is still hers and always has been. “The King has decreed that you and Master Cromwell are innocent of all charges and are to be released from the Tower.”

“I have always known our innocence Master Kingston but I thank you for your care and for informing me of His Majesties...kindness on this matter” 

Anne admires herself for the way she only stumbles slightly on the word ‘kindness’ but she knows she cannot afford to be anything other than grateful - she and Tom know the cost of displeasing the King now and she will not chance anything other than gratitude, at least on the surface. 

Thankfully Nan Saville arrives with the news that a bath has been drawn for her and clean clothing has been bought for her, clothing that she had not bought into the Tower (I think I will have it all given away to the poor or burned and the jewellery melted down, Anne thinks) and so she is bathed in hot water and sweet herbs and flowers that wash away some of the cold and sweat and shock and dressed in a simple pale blue gown and dark blue cloak, her hair braided in a crown about her head. 

I look exhausted, Anne thinks, looking at herself in the mirror. But I am alive, my love is alive. I will see my children and then, oh, then I must face Henry somehow, even if my heart quakes with fear at the thought. But first, first she wants to see Tom, to know that he is alive and he too, will leave this awful place, will see their children. That they can hold each other again. 

She almost sleeps again but she wishes to leave the Tower as soon as possible and so they go out the same way she entered, through the river gate - Anne does not know that there are crowds cheering her release outside the Tower, does not think of much but her desire to see Tom and her children. 

She does not even notice the rain that starts to fall as she steps out of the Tower. She does not notice it when she arrives at the house that holds Tom, notices nothing but her love standing there - how pale and tired he looks, how very thin. She does not notice anything but him, but how much the circle of his arms feels like coming home. 

“The children are upstairs my star” he says and they stumble up together and, and...she finds Bess sleeping, her hair fanned out against the pillow and Anne, Anne cries over her silently, not willing to awake her and her son, her little Prince awake in his cradle. 

“Our little Tommy” she says to Thomas, who is smiling through his tears as well. 

Neither of them can bear to think of how they must, somehow face Henry. Instead, Instead in the peace of this private house, with no unfriendly eyes upon them, they merely hold each other in their great bed, with their children asleep around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. So "He fell in with me" is somewhat of a paraphrase of something Anne says to her father in The Tudors S2.   
2\. Henry is making Slightly Better Life Choices. Can I get a Wahoo?


	5. Chapter 5

“What do you mean, I cannot marry the Lady Jane? Surely there can be no impediment - she is proven innocent of her families treason by my own witness after all?” 

There was a dangerous note in Henry’s voice and none of the councillors at the table wished to be the one to dare it but eventually one of them did, though he was praying inside the entirety of the time, Audley knew it must be done. 

“Your majesty, it is not that any doubt your word it is merely that the people...they will accept no other Queen but the Lady Anne, not after these events” 

What goes unspoken is the fact that even if Anne agreed to a divorce the people would never accept it and they would certainly never accept Jane Seymour as Queen or any child of hers as a legitimate Prince. No, the King could not marry the woman - no one believed her claim of innocence and virtue (privately Audley, who counted Thomas Cromwell a friend and revered Anne as his Queen though it was disgusting she would even try to pretend otherwise) and certainly, not even Henry’s word would change it. 

Henry Tudor’s fit of temper was something to be seen but he came to see it must be so. That he must yoke himself to a wife he no longer wanted for the rest of his days, while his darling Jane was maligned as a ruthless whore. I like it not, Henry thinks. I like it not at all. 

But the lady...she cannot give me a son! Surely, surely even her most fervent partisans must realise that she cannot be Queen, not when the country needs a Prince? Yes, Henry thinks, perhaps if I can see her and...if I can visit them and see that the child is another girl I can make the country see that she is not what they need - that I cannot remain married to her and then in a few months perhaps when all this has died down, I can revisit the issue of my marriage. 

So he goes to the house where his former...where his wife is now residing with what Henry tells himself is a clear heart and conscience. Surely he cannot be blamed for anything that has occurred, for he had no reason to doubt the word of his beloveds family? Surely Anne will understand and be reasonable. 

When he is announced, Anne curtsies to him, every inch the obedient Queen and Henry wants to be pleased. Wants to rage at her for her pretence. Wants to feel smug that he has finally taught her her place. Instead he...he feels guilt. Feels sick, looking at how thin and drawn she is, how he has...how she is beaten down and subdued. He tries to banish the feeling, tries to feel indifference, tries to be angry that she is making him doubt himself (Anne and...they had had this effect on him and it stings, that he, a King, should be so beguiled). Tries not to feel pleased that he is seeing her again. 

He had not wanted to look at her, in the months after the accusations were made. Had not wanted to think he might once again be taken in. 

(He tells himself he is not unhappy that Tom...that Cromwell is not in evidence either). 

Anne says something, thanks him for his kindness and it sounds hollow to his ears, that she should say such things and fear him enough to speak as though she means it. They stand there together in silence, when once they would have spoken easily, of so many things until..until he hears a soft cry from the next room. 

“I am sorry your majesty o...may I go to him?” 

Henry waves his permission with an absent hand, not registering the him as says “you may bring the child here - I would meet our newest child after all” and pretends he is not glad at her relief that he is acknowledging the child as his - for all there had been no accusations of adultery, he could see that Anne had thought there was a chance he would deny it. It angers him, to think that she could think he could be so cruel. 

And then she walks in, carrying the baby in her arms. 

“This is Thomas, your majesty. Your son. I named him after...I thought to name him for the man who helped to save him.” Anne says and there is an edge in her voice that dares him to object. 

(The ‘as you did not’ is almost blatant but Henry chooses not to hear it). 

The baby is Henry’s image. He can see that as he looks at him in Anne’s arms - can see he is a bright and healthy baby, already every bit the golden prince that he had always wished for. That he had talked of with Anne, dreamed of with Anne once. He thinks for a moment of how, how it could have been - a birth in the bright surrounds of Hampton Court instead of the confines of the Tower - of feasting and fireworks instead of silence. He can almost see it for a moment, the joy he and Anne and Tom would have in their new child, their new little Prince. 

Then, then Henry tells himself...he is glad, of course he is glad that he has a child but did it have to be with Anne? Did it have to mean that he could not be with his Jane honourably, that he would, for the sake of his son have to stay with Anne the rest of his days? For he will, he knows, have to stay with her - he can never allow his son’s legitimacy to be questioned in any way and the thought makes him angry. 

“I will make arrangements for you to return to Whitehall and then we shall talk further, my lady but for now I must leave you for I have an errand of great urgency.” 

I must see Jane, Henry thinks. I must see Jane and it will all be well. Jane will not make me feel uneasy, Jane will understand and love me and not look at me as Anne does, as though I have something to apologise for. 

Henry tells himself he does not see Anne’s tears as he leaves and that they do not wrench his heart. And that, that is when he sees Thomas Cromwell. His..his...the Lord Chancellor has always been thin but now Henry can see he is terribly so - he is gaunt and unusually pale and his eyes, his eyes are as haunted as Anne’s. 

(“Was Master Cromwell not cared for in the Tower Master Kingston” he asks sharply later and Henry tells himself that the surge of anger he feels at the answer that the Seymours had given orders that he was to be deprived of food ‘at his majesties behest, so that he might confess’ is nothing to do with Cromwell personally. Nothing at all). 

He goes to Jane, goes to chase away the ache inside himself.

* * *

When her father embraces her Anne can feel his fragility, can feel that her Papa, who has always been so strong has been aged by this ordeal and it breaks her heart anew. Makes her want to rage at Henry for what he has done. 

“My darling, my little Annie.” he says, holding her as though he will never let her go. “My littlest girl, I am so sorry, I am so sorry I could not keep you safe my darling - I kept looking at the letters you sent home from France as a little girl and thinking, I should have let you stay there.”

She clings to him then, wishing she was still a little girl. Wishing she could go home to Hever and her family and never leave. Wishing she would not have to face Henry and Henry’s resentment and hate and the mess he has made of their lives. She wants to take Tom and their children and stay there in the Kent sunshine and heal and learn to smile again.   
Anne, Anne knows they cannot. Knows she will have to return to a husband who seems to resent that she is alive and her heart quakes at the thought - that Henry hates her so much that he wishes she had died, it seems. That she and Tom had both died and he was free. 

But I am the Queen, she thinks. I have my duty. I can find solace in that, in the others that love me. Perhaps I can even learn to smile as my heart breaks as Henry loves another woman in front of me. Perhaps Tom and I can both learn to do so, if we have each other. 

George and Mary come to meet her too and they hold her too tightly but it is welcome, to be called little sister and darling and ‘my little Boleyn’ as she has not been for many months. It matters to her, to have her family around her as she prepares to return to court. To return to Henry. 

She watches Tom hold on to his eldest son, both of them weeping without shame. She watches and her heart breaks, thinking of what was nearly lost. She watches her family and her friends gather around her and it warms her, it truly does. 

She holds Tom in her arms and thinks, perhaps we can bear this together, somehow.


	6. Chapter 6

Henry knew that it was not honourable - especially not towards Jane, who was so pure and sweet and deserved to be feted as a wife rather than a mistress but he could not help it - he loved her - his sweet Guinevere and he wanted her as a man and though he could not make her his wife and Queen he could make sure she was the Queen of his Heart and give her everything in his power. 

And perhaps, perhaps later on he could marry her in truth as John of Gaunt did Katherine Swynford and their children could be legitimised and make right what should have always been. He knows Jane loves him, knows that she will wish only to make him happy but he is still apprehensive when he goes to ask her because he knows that such things are not in her nature. 

-

When Henry had asked her “to be my one and only mistress, giving yourself to me heart and soul - I swear Jane, I will be yours and yours alone and you will have everything you could ever desire” a part of Jane wants to say no - she has been taught all her life that she is only to give herself to her husband and the thought of giving truth to the rumours that have swirled about her makes her quail - it is hard enough already, the stares and the hatred and if she takes this step it will be worse. 

But she looks at her Henry - sweet, hopeful Henry and thinks of the shattered remains of her family that is not in the tower - Elizabeth is, oh Lord help her Elizabeth is betrothed to Thomas Cromwell’s son, with whom she is very much in love and her parents are exiled to Wolf Hall and thinks, all I want to do is make my love happy - is it so bad, if I do not flaunt myself? We can be together and he will make sure our children are secure and I will be safe. 

So she kisses him for an answer, despite her nerves. 

I love him, she thinks to herself. I love him and it is right that I do this and Henry, Henry twirls her around in delight and tells her that she has made him the happiest man in England.

(For a moment Henry thinks of black hair - straight and curled and the the whirl of black and purple fabric instead of golden strands and white silk but he banishes it from his mind).

* * *

Anne Boleyn had been friend, older sister (not much older than Mary herself, in truth) and second mother all at once and and...Mary had thought she would lose her. She had prayed with her mama, prayed that The Lord would understand that Anne was no heretic - merely misguided and that that should not prevent her from heaven. 

She had called her mother mama, mama and cried as she had not done since she was a very little girl and wondered how she was going to tell Elizabeth that their father had...what their father had done. And now she wonders again, how should she face her father who had been given his great desire and still turned away from his true wife. 

The terrible thing was that it made Mary feel better a little - that it was not merely that her mother had not produced a son that had made her father turn away from her. It was not that Mary was not enough for him it was...it was that her father...Mary does not finish the thought, not even in her own head. 

“The Queen has invited us back to court, should we wish to go” her mother had said, smiling over a letter from Anne before her smile turned sad “but she says that his Majesty is...that it is perhaps better we delay for a time until your fathers wishes are known” 

It hurt, Mary thought, to know that her father has treated both of her mothers so cruelly that they now feared him.

* * *

Henry spends the night with Jane, unwilling to face a court that contains...no, it is merely that he wishes to spend time with his love, that is all. He leaves her with a promise that he will grant her a title of her own and soon he will invite her to court...when things have quietened a little. 

(He tells himself he does not think of...he does not think of them at all, especially not when he bedded Jane). 

When he does it is to a perfectly obedient Queen who asks him nothing of his affairs. It is exactly what he wished for and yet, yet it angers him that she does so because surely, surely his..surely she should yell and rage and fight but she does not (Because you have terrified her, because she knows there is no point in doing so says an inner voice that Henry ignores). 

The one thing that melts her is their children, when they are presented and Elizabeth runs to hug them both and chatter about what her little brother has been doing (”mama, he smiles at me” “papa look, he looks like you”) and...and watching Anne with their children, Henry thinks perhaps at least in this he can be glad that Anne is still his Queen. 

He sees her melt again, later. It is when he is walking through one of the passages that is only for the King and Queen and their most trusted servants and glances into a room and...Anne is gripping Thomas, her hands wrapped about his shoulders and her legs around his waist. They are not naked, not yet but they are close to it and Anne’s hair is tangled loose about her as she whispers something into Thomas ear. 

It should not surprise Henry - he had told himself he would not care what Anne did - after all he no longer loved her and both she and Thomas would always be discreet and careful so why should it matter to him at all - he had Jane, after all and this way Anne would not bother him. Instead he feels..he feels...I feel nothing, he tells himself, turning on his heel. 

(He does not mention that he is painfully hard, that the feeling is not merely lust but an ache in his heart. He does not mention that the two he beds that night are dark haired at all. If he did, he might have to think about the yawning guilt and pain. He might think that he wanted to join them, wanted to have Tom underneath him and Anne above and all three of them tangled together again).

* * *

Edward had always known his brother was an idiot but he had not thought he would have managed to charm Dorothy into his schemes - not to this depth, especially not when if they had merely done nothing then Jane would have become Queen - perhaps not mother of the future King but certainly mother of a Duke of York and if things had gone well, she could have made sure their family would wield influence as advisers regardless. Perhaps Edward might have even made sure the Queen would have lost her child - he cannot know if it would have been worth the risk, for surely the Seymour would have been the obvious suspects and as it was, they were already risen high and they would have been fools to risk it. 

Then again, his brother always was a fool, Edward reflected from his rooms - he had only been sentenced to a term of house arrest but Thomas and Dorothy would die for their schemes, of that he was sure. He was just as glad he would not have to see it done. 

-

When Jane tries to speak to Henry of her family he is harsh with her for the first time, telling her sharply not to speak of such things “I don’t want you to spoil things, my darling - I only want you to think of our love” and she drops the subject immediately but the apprehension remains. It is not that he does not wish to listen to me, Jane tells herself, he merely does not want to be troubled with such things and an obedient...I should be here to be a soothing presence for him, not to burden him. 

She still wishes to go and visit Dorothy and Thomas in the Tower - they have committed treason, she knows that and she does not deny they deserve their punishment but they are still her family and she wishes to be there for them if she can. But she cannot think who she could ask about such things - Lord Cromwell is out of the question of course, as is the Duke of Suffolk, who hates her like poison and she does not think Chancellor Audley would listen to her and so Jane is left without the ability to go. 

But she can see Edward, who has merely been confined to his rooms for a time. It is Edward who tells her, bluntly that there is nothing she can do for Dorothy and Thomas (”Sister, if you try to see them you shall be thought more guilty than you already are by the court and the country - indeed I think if you show your face outside you will be torn to pieces”) and that the best thing she can do is never mention them again. 

It hurts though, that she cannot talk to her love about such things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I completely forgot to do notes for this and the last chapter so they will be combined here!
> 
> 1\. In chapter 5 the letters from France refer to a particularly ‘makes the author cry’ bit of real history in which Thomas Boleyn did in fact keep his youngest child’s childhood letters home - in fact they were so treasured we still have them. 
> 
> 2\. The rain is a reference to historical Anne saying it wouldn’t rain until she was released. 
> 
> 3\. Don’t spoil things is basically a paraphrase of something Henry says to Jane in S3 and the line about one and only mistress is a parallel to what he says to Anne in S1.


	7. Chapter 7

Jane had tried to banish the unease she felt - mostly she succeeds in the quiet of the manor house Henry has gifted to her which means she does not have be around the court and Henry can easily visit her every day. But it is there, sometimes at night, during times when she is alone. 

What has happened to me, she thinks. What will happen to me - I have no family left to me here - Edward is banished to the country with our parents, Elizabeth hates me and Dorothy and Thomas are going to die and I can do nothing about it - I know they deserve it, but it still hurts to think of, that we have come to this. 

She tells herself that all will be well - that Henry loves her, that he has given her this manor for her own, that they can be happy but in those night hours it sounds hollow in her mind. But she can lose herself in other things - drawing, embroidery, walking with Henry in the gardens or dancing together. She sews his shirts and smiles gently and tries to be everything he wishes her to be. 

(It will never be enough, a voice inside her head tells her). 

Coming to court? Coming to court makes it worse. Court is a reminder that no one but Henry wants her here. Court is...Court is the Queen. Court is the Queens children. The Queens son. Jane, Jane had dreamed about being a mother to them - Princess Elizabeth is a beautiful little girl and she had thought she could be a second mother to her as the Queen has been to Princess Mary. Prince...she sees Prince Thomas less, due to his age but she had seen him at his much delayed Christening - a beautiful, robust and healthy baby who is the image of his father entirely. 

Princess Mary, Princess Mary hates her, that much is clear. And it does hurt, when Jane had always wanted Mary to like her but Jane, Jane knows she is hated now. She knows what people whisper behind their hands, knows that no one will ever believe she knew nothing about what her family had planned. Knows they think her grasping, unfeeling. 

(”She’s a cheap little nothing, Charles!” she hears Mary Brandon hiss at her husband once and it stings but sometimes Jane welcomes it. Sometimes she thinks she deserves it, for what she is doing). 

Because the Queen, the Queen does not...the Queen does not even look at her. Does not talk of her, does not scream at her. She does not have to wait upon her (Henry had thought perhaps she should but thankfully that had not happened) but Jane must sometimes be in her presence and it is painful. Sometimes she wants to hate Anne, who has children, who has a marriage and the love of so many and who is still gracious to Jane when she has no reason to be. 

But then she remembers how Jane is sleeping with Anne’s husband. How Jane’s family had nearly killed her. How, how Henry had been, was being so cruel to his wife because he loved Jane and it makes her heart break, even though she tries not to think on it. She does not want to hurt anyone, she truly does not.

* * *

Sometimes, Sometimes Anne thinks it might have been easier to hate Jane Seymour. To simply blame her for enticing Henry, tempting Henry away from her and Tom but she cannot. It is Henry who has turned away from them, Henry who has decided to be cruel. Henry who seems to resent that she and Tom are alive at all, as though the mere fact that they are living reminders of his sins, of his discomfort is enough for him to hate them. 

She also knows that he will want a Duke of York one day. 

The thought of having to share a bed with him, having to be a wife in truth again? Anne cannot bear the thought, not now - she loves him still, God help her, she loves him still but she cannot bear the thought of being near him. So she loses herself - in her children, in her friends and her duties as Queen that do not include her husband. In her family and her Thomas. They do not see each other as much as they might but, but she cannot let him go. 

“What has he done to us, Tom?” she asks him once and they both break into hysterical laughter because what has Henry not done, after all.

* * *

Henry cannot have Thomas Cromwell resume his position at court and yet, and yet he cannot not - the man is far too capable to be left out and so he is there again. But it is...it is not Thomas, Henry thinks once before firmly diverting his mind from such thoughts. But it is not Thomas, it is not his friend who would laugh only for him and Anne. It is not the friend who would gently tease him, who would debate and jest and tell stories of the world. (It is not, a voice inside his head whispers, his Tom who had lain against his chest, still in sleep and utterly at peace). He does not speak, though he does his work impeccably as always and he is still far too thin and the shadows around his eyes are deep. 

Henry notices these things and tells himself he does not. Henry beds Jane and dreams of dark curls, of long black hair and two bodies against his own and tells himself he does no such thing at all. He is happy, he tells himself. 

And yes, he will need a Duke of York but that is all - he will own that Anne’s children are perfect in every way but surely he simply feels apprehension because he feels he is betraying Jane by bedding another. It is not guilt, not at all, Henry thinks. I have nothing to apologise to Anne or...I have nothing to apologise for. 

He does not convince himself. What angers him is that Jane, Jane does not soothe him as she had before - instead all he can think of is of Anne and Thomas Cromwell - of how happy they had been that night, before he had slipped away. Of how broken they had looked when he had first seen them. Of the tears in Anne’s eyes when he had gone away to be with Jane. Henry wants the comfort back, the certainty that he had always felt in Jane’s presence that he was doing the right thing, that his sweet Jane understood that he had done no wrong. 

He tells himself it will surely return. That Jane will understand that she should not be upset about the executions that will come - surely she understands that they committed treason, family or no and that her love for him is so great that it will come before two traitorous Seymours. After all, she has not asked him for mercy for them, not after the first time when she had ventured to ask if she might visit them. And then and then she asks again. 

“Jane, I would that you would be of good cheer - I only want to think of all that is good when I am with you” is what he says and it comes out sharper than he intends it to but...if only his mind would stop thinking of Anne and Cromwell. Of the doubts that he should not have and if Jane could be the sweet pure lady he knew her to be instead of meddling and bringing up things she ought not. 

“I am sorry your...Henry, I am sorry but I must speak for the great love that I bear you means that I only want all that is good in your kingdom and surely the...” 

“For Gods sake Jane, can you really be so naive as to think I would entertain you consorting with two traitors? Do not speak of it again” 

He leaves her abruptly then, telling her that he would return when she was of a better mind to know how she should conduct herself. I love her, Henry thinks and I know she only spoke because of her gentle heart but by God, can she not understand how it must be and not vex me so? 

He finds himself, somehow, walking towards the Queens Garden - a private retreat he had built for Anne, far back in their courtship days when they had walked and danced there every day and in all weathers. Sees Anne, sitting under a canopy, laughing as she watched Elizabeth gather flowers and present them to Thomas Cromwell, who has his head in Anne’s lap. They are a pretty picture both of them in white and watching baby Tommy, who is happily laid in a basket. 

Henry, Henry reminds himself that he does not miss them. Not at all. Not at all. He finds his feet almost carry him towards them despite himself.

* * *

The day that her brother and sister die Jane tries not to think on it but she cannot help but mourn, though she knows, she knows that they deserve their punishment. She knows they did a terrible thing - it still angers her, thinking of the lives that they have ruined but...but they are her sister and her brother and she cannot help but mourn them too. 

She can say nothing of this to Henry of course, she understands that now. Her remaining sister hates her (”you selfish hateful bitch” Elizabeth had hissed at her “do you know how many lives you’ve ruined with your starry eyed daydreams”) and her parents do not wish to see her - their disappointment is palpable. I have no one, Jane thinks miserable. No one at all. 

Yes, yes she has Henry and her manor and this suite of rooms at court and some friendly ladies, mostly picked from among her relatives but she knows she has no other friends. Knows that Henry had danced with her in front of the Queen and the court had glared its hate when he had gone and she had felt as though she was the worst of people. 

But she prays for her brother, for her sister, for...”I am so sorry” she says to herself, looking up at at the altar. “I never meant to fall in with love this way and I never wanted this” I could be addressing the Queen or I could be addressing the Lord or both, Jane thinks as she rises from her knees to see that the Queen’s sister is behind her and to her surprise, to her surprise there is no condemnation, no hate in Mary Boleyn’s eyes. 

“I know you did not Jane. I know you did not.”

“Why...why would you say that? You, my lady of all people?” Jane cannot believe she is being so bold but she wants to understand, wants to ask why, why would you, the loving sister to Queen Anne, think any good of me at all? Why would Mary Boleyn be anything but vicious towards her. 

“Because...because, you know I was a mistress once?” Mary smiled sadly then. “I know what it is to live with and make no mistake, my heart breaks for my sister - but I know who is responsible and it is not you Jane, at least not entirely. It is the King who decided to break my sisters heart, who decided to believe your family and condemn her and...to condemn her the way he did. So I have decided to be kind to you, because I have been you, Jane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The author would very much like to say that she does not endorse the attitudes towards Jane Seymour and also that HENRY TUDOR CAN GET IN THE SEA (he is slowly getting a clue but VERY SLOWLY).


	8. Chapter 8

Jane does not see Mary Boleyn much after that visit but she knows she will always treasure it in her heart, however much she did not understand why the Queens sister would be kind to her - it had meant a great deal, that someone was kind to her especially as her beloved Henry seemed more distracted than ever of late. Jane has tried to be the soothing presence he wishes for but nothing seems to truly settle him, though he tells her she is doing nothing wrong and that he lives for her company. 

Somehow it seems to ring hollow if Jane thinks on it too long so she does not - instead focusing on pleasing Henry and on her amusements and her embroidery - that has always been her great skill and she wishes to set an example for her ladies of the kind of suitable occupation they could engage in, along with her sewing. Jane even carefully sews the King shirts with her own hand, wanting to give her love a gift that she herself has made and he smiles at her gently but somehow, somehow she feels his disappointment.

* * *

He is not bored. He is not bored at all, Henry tells himself, looking at the pile of beautifully sewn shirts that Jane had given him - Jane was everything a man could wish for in a lover and a wife and he is delighted with her but, he admits that he wishes she knew more of the world than she does, even as he knows it is hardly fair for there are not many women who are educated to the degree that...to the degree that his Queen is, Henry finally admits. It is to Jane’s credit, Henry tells himself that firmly that she has the suitable qualifications of a wife and mother - how to run a household, how to sew and embroider and how to dance and play a little and read enough to know the Bible and manage a home without the further education that has made his wife forget her place. 

Except it appeared that even Jane had forgotten her place still for she had still sought to talk to him about the Religious Settlement and he had disturbed his mood by having to rebuke her once more for her presumptions. Why, Henry thinks, can she not simply be the sweet lady she was - it had given him a headache and so he decides to walk in the gardens. 

It is there that he comes upon Elizabeth and Anne and Tommy - Anne is laughing as Elizabeth throws a ball towards her. 

“I want Tommy to catch it”

“He can’t catch yet my darling, but he will when he is older” 

“I think I would like him to be older now mama so he can play with me” 

It makes Henry smile to hear the determination in his little girls voice and he finds his feet carrying him towards his wife and children without thinking - Anne’s start as she sees him is a sharp shock but she recovers quickly as Elizabeth hesitates a moment - a moment that breaks Henry’s heart. 

He has not thought much of his two younger children of late and he knows that Elizabeth is so bright and so quick that she must have had wondered what had become of her Papa. Henry had never wanted his children to fear him or doubt his love so he makes his voice as loving as possible as he opens his arms. 

“It’s all right my little princess - will you give your Papa a hug?” 

Her little arms around him and her sweet smile is a balm to his heart. 

“How are you and your brother my jewel?” Henry asks, looking down at his son. 

“Tommy cries but he smiles at me, Papa. And Mama has been teaching me French and P..Master Cromwell has been teaching me Italian.” 

Elizabeth chatters on about her lessons and Henry listens but he also remembers her near slip. Papa Thomas. Papa Thomas. For a moment Henry feels sick with guilt that his daughter thinks there are things she cannot speak to him of. But he also feels, though he will not admit it, a surge of happiness at the thought that Thomas Cromwell is a father to their children. 

(He does not even notice he has thought of them as the children of all three of them). 

Eventually Elizabeth runs off to pick more flowers and Anne watches her with a fond smile before she turns to Henry, holding the bundle in her arms. 

“Would you like to hold him, Henry?” 

He can hardly feel himself nodding as Anne hands him, Lord, it is the first time he has held his own son in his arms - can he truly have been so absorbed in Jane that he had neglected his children for so long? Henry had always wished to be a loving father to all his children and he vows he will not neglect them so again. 

Little Tommy is clearly a beautiful baby - everything he had ever wished for in a son and more - already he is waving his limbs about, interested in the world around him and this strange new person who is holding him - he does not cry but he does...

“He has your smile” Henry hears himself saying to Anne and his tone is a fond one, to his own surprise. Even more to his surprise Anne’s answering smile at her son (and half at him, perhaps) warms him as nothing else has done in recent times.

* * *

Anne knows not to hope - likely this visit was a whim of her husbands and nothing more and he will soon wish to return to his mistress but oh, oh she cannot help but be charmed by him, despite her hurt and anger - she would never have shown it before Elizabeth who had been so delighted to see her father that she could not have spoiled that for the world. 

“I cannot understand it Tom, that I should both hate and love him - both wish that he would never come near me and yet it warmed me that he would come to see me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to ask him how he could neglect Elizabeth so - even if he hated me, how could he take against a toddler so? And yet, somehow...” 

Anne sighs, letting her fingers run through Thomas’ hair who smiles up at her sadly. 

“Somehow you are still enchanted by him? I know it well, my heart - perhaps he truly is Helios - we are warmed and yet burned by him all at the same time” 

“You called me your star once Thomas - if I am an evening star and you are the moon of my life then we must remember that the sun gives way to the night.”

Thomas had laughed then, letting out her hair from its braid and there was no more talking in words.

* * *

The next time Henry Tudor encounters Thomas Cromwell it is when he meets the Earl of Norwich.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The author would like to note that embroidery, sewing and running a household are SKILLS and also she is way closer to 'traditionally thought of as feminine' occupations anyway.   
2\. Helios = Greek God Of The Sun   
3\. "Moon of my life" somewhat comes from Game of Thrones. "Evening Star" is a dorky homage to Lord of the Rings and Arwen/Luthien.   
4\. The author would also like to note that Jane Seymour Deserves Better Also.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to put a specific content note here for references to child sexual abuse and a look at the kind of person that would do that as well as some body horror/gore.

The Earl of Norwich does not recognise Thomas Cromwell when he comes to court but he would not, not in this world where Thomas Cromwell is merely one of the Kings Advisers who fade quietly into the background and a patron in the Duke of Norfolk who sees “the jumped up gutter rat” as having been humbled enough to satisfy him. No, the Earl has no reason to pay heed to to the figure in black with short cropped hair who the King does not look at it. 

Thomas Cromwell of course, knows him. Knows him and all of him aches at it - aches and aches and hurts and he feels he is ten years old again or perhaps fifteen and terrified even as he runs as far away as he could from the man and his house. The man and his bed and his hands and his gold and perhaps, perhaps, Thomas thinks it is fortunate that he is not in favour with...he is not in favour with the King, because he knows the man he now knows as Norwich would certainly find him and wish to reclaim him. 

It still hurts, despite everything, that the King, that Henry will not look at him as though he is truly truly tainted after all (Thomas tries not to think about the way Henry had looked at him that one enchanted day and night when he had seemed to stare at him as though he and Anne truly were the moon and the stars of his world. Of the way Henry had gently held him closer, had told him to stay with such love in his voice that it had made him tremble to think of). 

He thinks of trying to find the words to ask why, why your majesty? Why Henry, did you throw us, did you throw me away and they stick in his throat because Thomas Cromwell cannot help but believe that it must have been him, it must have been some defect, some taint that Norwich has left on his soul after all.

* * *

Henry Tudor does not look at Thomas Cromwell. He tries not to look at his Queen either but it seems he cannot stop thinking of them, cannot stop the hollow place in his heart from aching even as he tells himself it does not, it cannot. He feels affection, he tells himself, that is all. It must be Jane he loves, it must be. Yet he still dreams of waking with two dark haired loves in his bed, still thinks of how he wants to talk to them of books, of politics and theology and everything in between. How he thinks of kissing Thomas, of kissing Anne, of the three of them dancing together in the moonlight. 

I want you, a part of him wants to say to Thomas. I want to kiss every part of you, I want to see your smile, I want to watch you and Anne together and join you both. I want to see what our children might look like. I love you, I love you, a part of him wants to say to them both. I have always loved you both. 

Instead he turns away, tells himself that he loves Jane - sweet, modest Jane who is everything he could wish for - golden and fair and adoring and perfect and tries not to dream. But he does, oh he does dream. 

_They are holding their heads in the arms and the lips speak. _

_“There was no pain - it was a relief, to be free of my pain and my fears and the cold of these past months but yet, all I could think of was the children I would be leaving behind.” _

_Anne’s head is smiling, the smile that had once gladdened his heart. _

_“Do you know, I hardly got to hold Tommy before he was ripped from my arms - but then, you would hardly care would you Henry? You had a new mother planned for him before Tom and I were even cold.”_

_“All I could think of was that Anne had died on this same scaffold that I was to die - that they had cleaned her blood from it before I would mount it. All I could think was, why, why Henry - what did we do to be thrown away like trash?”_

_The eyes on Thomas Cromwells severed head are blazing with hate in a way they never have in life but Henry can see the heartbreak as well. _

_“You have driven us to this Henry. You alone”_

Henry wakes gasping their names before the apparitions get any closer but he cannot get the images out of his head for the rest of the night. Not even Jane can chase them away.

* * *

When Jane hears Henry gasp awake she only hears one of the names but it is an arrow through her heart that she tries not to show. 

“...Anne please don’t I...”

Anne. Anne. Her Henry had called for the Queen and the longing in his voice makes her break but she knows she cannot show it and so, instead she wordlessly offers Henry what comfort she can give him and tries to remember that he is with her, that he has chosen her, no matter what names he calls out in the night. 

But she cannot chase away the memory of the love and the longing she had never heard in Henry’s voice when he had addressed her and the next morning when she sees him playing with the Prince and Princess it is hard not to feel the sour taste of envy in her mouth. 

She knows, oh she knows that Henry wants a child from her but there has been no child yet and Jane, Jane would love a child by the man she loves, a child to be proof of their love. A child to love and dote on. But it has not come to be and it hurts her heart, that emptiness. Especially as she had thought to have...Jane admits that she had thought to be a mother to the little prince - the only mother he would ever know and it makes her ashamed to think she had thought that, that she could be so callous as to think it at all. 

What have I become, she thinks as she sews in her richly appointed suite of rooms and what, whispers another voice, has the King made you into?

* * *

Anne Boleyn is playing with her children in the gardens when the Earl of Norwich finds Thomas Cromwell. Henry Tudor is returning from them when he comes upon Norwich and Cromwell. Norwich has Thomas backed against the wall, gripping his arms hard enough to leave deep bruises behind and is whispering something into his ear. At first, at first Henry thinks it is a meeting of lovers and the surge of enraged jealousy surprises him but then he looks, truly looks at Thomas and can see nothing but that his...but that the other man is shaking with terror. That he looks so fragile against Norwich’s bulk. 

“...my beautiful little gutter rat. I remember when I found you - ten years old and scrambling to survive but oh, your father would have given me to you for free, wouldn’t he? And then I gave you everything - a home, a bed, schooling and a place and you, you were so ungrateful as to run away.” 

Henry can see Norwich’s smirk and suddenly, suddenly he realises the implications in his tone, in the other mans words. The rage he feels is beyond words but it is almost a delight in the clarity it brings. For how dare this animal presume to touch his Thomas, How dare this man have hurt him, have presumed to lay hands on what did not belong to him. No, Henry Tudor understands now, at least a little. He understands that he could kill Norwich with his bare hands, could have him ripped apart piece by piece or skinned alive slowly and it would still not be enough - for he had dared to put his hands on...Henry does not think 'my love' not now, but it is there, in a part of him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to add another additional content note for what is some fairly serious violence/violent imagery in the beginning of this piece and also to thank the friends who helped me wrangle my thoughts about this chapter.

Henry could have said that a red mist descended upon him but in truth he feels nothing but clarity in his rage, clarity as he has not felt in a long time. It is with cold calculation that he pulls Norwich off Thomas and it is with the same cold calculation of exactly how much to hurt that he beats the man half to death and delights to see the blood, tears and snot that is running down the other mans face. Delighted to hear that he is begging and pleading. 

It still does not feel like enough but there is a certain vicious satisfaction in it as he pulls the man up by the hair and tells him if that if he speaks any more then Henry will take his dagger and cut off the pathetic thing between his legs. 

The silence and the telling stain is enough of an answer. 

“You see, you attacked me, your King, unprovoked but brazenly and without madness. And further? Well I am sure there are many deeds to your disgusting name that will be found to condemn you but the first alone is treason, as you know. And you will die screaming, I can assure you of that.”

Henry can feel himself smile, viciously as he tightens his grip, hearing a groan of pain that only enrages him further for the way that this man thinks he has any chance of mercy. 

“I do not believe you deserve the privilege of your noble title - I barely think you deserve the grace to be called a name at all but you will be stripped of your title and you will die like the hellspawn you are at Tyburn, though that is still more than your deserve.” 

He leans down then, to whisper in the man’s ear and the last thing the man who was the Earl of Norwich hears before guards are summoned to drag him away makes the man tremble with fear. 

(”You dared to touch that which is worthy only of a King and a Queen. And if you breathe a word I will have you tortured every day before you die”) 

It is then that he turns to Thomas, looks at him fiercely because he will not have him harmed. He will not have it again and he turns to him, holds trembling hands gently, softly (it feels like coming home, a part of him sings) and talks to him with soothing words, he cannot remember what, but at some point he hears Thomas apologising and “...I am so sorry your...I am sorry Henry, that I am so tainted” 

“Never. Never. That man is not worthy to empty your chamber pot Thomas. That man has not touched your soul, for it has a grace that is beyond him - it always has for I have seen it.”

And I have, Henry thinks. He had always thought that Thomas, like Anne had been marked somehow as one born to ascend to high estate (Born to wear a crown, a part of him thinks) while Norwich is lower than the worms for all the differences in their birth. 

For a moment, for a moment, they stand there, the two of them and all Henry wishes to do is kiss him, take Thomas in his arms and say, I love you, my heart, forgive me but he does not. 

He does not. Interrupted by the entrance of a guard, they move apart and Henry suddenly feels awkward all over again - that he has had this depth of feeling and merely waves off Thomas and his bow and thanks with an absent hand but he cannot stop the feeling of regret that courses through him that the moment has passed and he admits that he is short with the guard in question. 

* * *

Thomas, Thomas does not, cannot understand why he would deserve such a defence. He cannot...it is a though he has suddenly been told that fish fly through the air such is the absurdity of the idea that the King of England would so fiercely tell him that he should have no shame. 

Thomas thinks he might perhaps have believed it better if Henry had not himself signed his death warrant on heresy a short while ago - as it is he cannot...jealousy, yes, that he can perhaps comprehend though it is not as though I am especially appealing Thomas thinks as he sinks into the bath he has had drawn, hoping to wash off the feeling of Norwich’s hands but the fierce gentleness that Henry had said that he was not the one who was stained had almost, almost sounded like the Henry of that golden day who had held Thomas as though he was truly a precious thing. 

Anne comes to see him as he is dressing and her hands are soft as she applies a balm to his bruises. She does not reproach him for not having told her (”Tom, my heart, how can I blame you for trying to protect me and yourself all at once”) but she does tell him that Henry is right. 

“It is Norwich who should be shamed before the world for what he has done, not you though the world might say it otherwise - it is no stain on your soul or your body that he is an evil thing” 

Thomas might even believe her, such is the conviction with which Anne Boleyn speaks but then, his loves are both persuasive in that way and Anne, Anne speaks with all the passion of the bright star that she is. 

She tells him she will stay with him that night and Thomas is not ashamed to admit that it gladdens his heart that she will - that her touch and her scent and the feel of her arms will be a bulwark against the nightmares that he knows will come.

* * *

Henry can feel his feet carry him to Anne’s bedchamber without thinking about it. He finds himself standing in the door, feeling hesitant, feeling as though he should go but it is Anne who welcomes him, despite what he knows still lies between them. 

They both cradle Thomas between them that night and somehow, somehow Henry feel content and guilty both. Feels as though he...I did not wish to lose this, he thinks before he falls into sleep and somehow the guilt is worse for it, however much he tries to put it from him, to find the anger and resentment he had before. Somehow it has vanished from him like mist and he has no idea what to grasp next. 

No idea at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Henry GOT SOME FEELINGS (you know what that is? It's SOME GROWTH)  
2\. Okay so I saw the 'feel no shame' quote on Black Sails Gifsets a lot and it clearly stuck with me.


	11. Chapter 11

Jane cries herself to sleep alone when Henry does not come to share her bed and she hears that he has gone to the Queen. She knows, oh she knows she should not but it hurts because she loves him and wants him to keep loving her. She does not want to lie here alone and sad and thinking awful thoughts because a husband has decided to share a bed with his wife. 

But she does not want him to. She wants Henry here, holding her in his arms and whispering sweet words and the knowledge that his heart is hers alone, no matter the cost. And yet a voice whispers to her that perhaps this is somewhat of what Queen Anne felt, once upon a time. Perhaps she is only suffering her due but...but no, no, Jane thinks. He loves me and he is only doing his duty to make sure the country has a Duke of York - he must bed the Queen but his heart is mine, surely it is. Surely it is. 

Her doubts stay with her, despite herself. Especially when her maid brings her the gossip that the King had stayed all night with the Queen, had broken his fast with her and planned to go riding with her that day. 

Jane wants to hide herself away in her bed so she does not have to face the sneers and the mockery but she knows that would only make it worse so she is dressed and leaves her rooms to walk in the gardens. It is on her way there that she sees Henry, her Henry, helping the Queen onto her horse with such tenderness that she can feel tears forming in her eyes.

* * *

Henry had wanted to run from this conversation, he owns. Part of him still does, part of him wants to rage that he is a King and he does not owe apologies or an explanation but, but something had changed in the night and he knows he owes to Anne and to Thomas to hear this. So they ride out - he and Anne, to a secluded spot by the river, with a few loyal guards standing some distance away where they cannot hear what is being said. To his own surprise it is Henry who breaks the silence. 

“Can you forgive me?” 

It is Anne who answers. 

“Henry...Henry, I...I don’t know, candidly. You sent me..you sent us to The Tower. You signed warrants for our execution and you were going to replace us before our bodies were cold - I don’t think I can ever forget it.”

For once, for once Henry does not feel defensive or angry or anything but a horrified, shattered sadness for what he has ruined. 

“But..I still love you. I do, though I understand it not. My heart and soul have always been yours and Thomas’ Henry, but you seemed to value it so little these past years that it broke me into pieces and..Henry” 

Anne takes his hands then, almost gentle. 

“Henry, I do not know if I can trust you again - perhaps not for a long time. I do not know if I can ever look at you without a shadow of fear and...Thomas, Thomas is terrified, Henry. He is terrified and he is so ashamed” 

She waves away his protests that there is nothing he should be ashamed of, nothing at all and tells him that of course Thomas is - he is a commoner made a noble who has been sharply reminded that everything he has could so easily be taken away. Everything. That he had felt that he had displeased Henry and so should be thrown away. 

“It was what Norwich told him every day Henry and you seemed to prove it true and no, he will not tell you this. He would have once, but I do not know if he will again.” 

Henry. Henry. By God, he wants to scream his frustration, his horror at himself to the heavens, to pray to the Lord to take away what his mistakes have lead to. Wants to plead, wants to cry and beg and ask what he can do to fix it - surely he must be able to for he is a King. Instead he simply sits there, numbly as Anne untangles her hands from his. 

“Henry, do not think I am not thankful for yesterday and the night we spent - we both are. But these...these are deep wounds, my love and the healing is long and when it is done I do not know that I can forget it, that Thomas can forget it. And I do not know that I can believe that you will be able to give us time enough to try, that you will not lose patience” 

Henry starts to protest but then...it is true, he thinks. What have I become, what has fear and terror made of me that I should have come to this, that my loves are trembling before me with hurts that I have made. 

Anne does not even ask him about the Lady Jane because...because she has learned there is no point, Henry thinks. She has learned to fear me and once I would have been glad that she has learned her place and now, now I am horrified. I have taught them to fear me when they should never do so. 

“So...if you would seek our love anew Henry? Prove that you mean it truly. Prove that you have patience enough to wait.” 

With that Anne turns to mount her horse and rides away, leaving Henry to his thoughts and to his doubts. He tries to summon anger, tries to summon indignation and...there is nothing. It is a hollow place inside him and all he has is his guilt and his despair that he has lost his most precious jewels and it is all his own fault. His alone. 

When he beds Jane when he returns it only makes him feel worse and he sharply asks her to leave immediately after and cannot make himself apologise for it. He had hoped to forget for a time in Jane’s arms and nothing of the sort had happened, at least not afterwards. He had enjoyed the physical act of bedding her, that he did not deny but all he is left with now is the feeling that he wants Thomas. Wants Anne. And the idea that he has a right to take a mistress? He tells himself he does, that it is merely about the physical relief, that it can have no bearing on his relationship with Anne and Thomas but he knows, oh he knows that that rings hollow. 

He had been cruel to them long before he had signed warrants for their execution. Henry resolves that he will do better. His feet carry him to Anne’s rooms that night and he asks her, quietly if he might share her bed that night, aware that she had once asked him that hesitantly and he had refused her curtly, not wanting to look at her. 

Anne’s shake of the head makes an agony of his heart, of his soul. That night he does not send for Jane at all. He had thought about it, had thought perhaps he could lose himself in her for a time but he found he could not. Not now.

* * *

Jane cries herself to sleep in a lonely bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -We have a TURNING POINT. But just, Oh Jane :/. Oh Jane :/.   
-There is a parallel here in which Henry is suddenly in the position of being the one who is begging to share Anne's bed that I definitely did deliberately.


	12. Chapter 12

Anne had been terrified when she had talked to Henry - had thought perhaps of being less candid than she had been of saying very little, of continuing to be the perfect marble Queen that he had seemed to wish to see from her, if he wished anything of her at all. In the end she could not - for herself, for Thomas, for their children and even for Henry, who she thought deserved the honesty that he had promised could always be between them. 

But she was still terrified. It could have gone so horribly wrong, she knows that but he had listened. Had even seemed to understand, at least a little that this was not something that he could easily fix. And he had not screamed at her. 

When she hears he had spent the night in his bed alone she had not expected it to last. Henry had after all, often told her that he was a King and a man and men had needs and if their wives could not satisfy them then it was their right to divert themselves with a willing lady and Anne was not to object. No, Anne does not expect his celibacy to continue - though once she might have believed that he loved her and Thomas alone she cannot, not now. 

-

Henry realises that he cannot expect Anne or Thomas to trust him - after all he had shown them both that they could not in recent times and so he knows that it will take time. What is harder is that his lust for Jane does not abate - he can see that it is not love now but he does desire her and her golden fair prettiness. And yet, yet there is nothing else - Jane is sweet and gentle and perfectly ideal and...he does not love her. 

It is a painful thing to realise that he would have been willing to consign his true hearts to death for a woman he now sees he does not love. He has tried to tell himself that he cared for her at least but Henry has tried to divest himself of delusions about himself of late and he knows that what he felt was lust, fondness and the grasping of what he thought he should want that he had convinced himself was love. 

And he finds himself more and more irritated with Jane, though he knows it is not fair. Jane who went along with his cruelties, though she owed her Queen better. Jane who had been willing to be with him while Anne was pregnant with their son. Henry does not deny his own responsibility but surely, surely Jane had her own part to own and thus, he looks at her differently. 

-

When Elizabeth comes to see her Jane is sure she has come to gloat but instead, instead Elizabeth holds her hands and tells her that though she cannot condone her actions, her father in law has spoken to her and said she should not hold Jane to blame and so...”I will try for if he can speak of forgiving you, when he has so many reasons to hate then I can try for the sake of the older sister I loved” 

And once again, Jane does not understand. Why, why would Thomas Cromwell of all people speak of kindness, of forgiveness to her. She does not ask her sister for more details, the peace too fragile between them to do so but she does wonder. 

-

When the letter arrives, written in the King’s elegant hand Thomas Cromwell feels his hands tremble as he reads its contents. 

“My dark haired love - I write not in expectation of an easy forgiveness nor any idea that you should have to return affections to me once more but merely because I wish to court you as I should have long ago...” 

Thomas is no longer ashamed to admit that he cries at the contents, beautifully written by a man who he knows hates to write letters at all. And it is true - there are no demands - neither open nor hidden and...truthfully he is touched, though he knows that the sore place in his heart remains. 

I want to trust you, he thinks to the Henry in his head, I have always wished to have my heart and soul safe in your hands and Anne’s but you have made me wary and shamed and I do not know if it can be repaired. And I do not know if you truly have the patience to try for however long it may take or to accept that you may have shattered it beyond repair. 

-

Henry writes a letter to Anne as well but as well as words he has made sure to send gifts - not dresses or jewels but books that have been carefully picked out for her and Thomas. He also gives them the space to simply be, with a patience that makes Anne wonder if perhaps, perhaps she might begin to look towards him again as she once had. 

But Henry is still bedding Jane Seymour. Anne...there is a part of Anne that thinks of the woman who had danced with her husband while Anne was mourning her own child, while Anne was pregnant. Who had bought her whole smug family to court and watched as Anne and her love had nearly died. Who had wanted to replace her as a mother to Anne’s children. There is a part of Anne that wants to do nothing but hate her. 

But of course, there is a part of her that looks at Jane and pities her - she had clearly been beguiled by Henry, by her family and by the stars in her own eyes and her dreams and for that, for that she can ask Elizabeth Seymour to talk to her, can find kindness in her heart even if she can never be comfortable with Jane. 

”She was...she was living in a dream Anne - she was so sheltered and her family encouraged her in it and then everything crashed down upon her and truly, she has no one, not really” was what Mary had told her after confessing she had gone to see Jane. “And truly she wanted none of the cruelty”

No Anne knows that she cannot blame Jane Seymour, not really. 

-

Henry dismisses Jane Seymour when his oldest daughter and his former wife return to court.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Henry historically hated writing letters  
2\. I am thinking of putting some of my internal meta thoughts about what the characters are thinking on my tumblr if people want to ask questions about things?


	13. Chapter 13

When he tells Jane that she will have to leave court she gapes at him for a moment and Henry feels a flash of irritation that she does not understand that of course she will have to leave - he cannot have her here, not if he wants to have a chance of repairing what he has lost with Anne and Thomas. 

There was a part of him that had thought of keeping her as his mistress - he had enjoyed their time together in bed and he certainly still lusted for her, especially now when she was dressed to emphasise her prettiness and perhaps he could simply install her in an out of the way manor house until he tired of her at last but looking at her now, Henry knew he could not. He would always look at Jane and be reminded that for her, he had been willing to murder the two he loved most in the world. That he had been cruel to them because he had believed himself in love with her. 

No he would dismiss Jane, find her a husband who would not reproach her and would not mind that he would not be able to come to court and then he could begin to repair what he had broken. He would not be unkind to Jane, who he still felt a fondness for but their relationship certainly could not continue. Not now.

* * *

It is Anne who welcomes them to court and Mary is gladder than she can say to see her - she can see it in the face of her Mama too, as she embraces her fellow Queen (though Katherine has been formally known as Her Royal Highness, The Duchess of Derby for some time now in honour of her title as Princess of Wales, for many in the country she will always have been a Queen). It is hard for Mary to see how thin Anne still is, how much fear shadows her eyes. 

It hurts her heart to think that it was her father who had put it there but it does not surprise her. She loves him, she always will but she knows now that he is capable of being cruel in a way that Mary would never have known as a child - or perhaps it is merely that he is capable of being cruel if he is convinced that he has been betrayed. 

(Mary’s mother had once told her that her father was not angry at Mary but that he thought that Mary was being influenced by her and what he was angry at was Katherine and that, not Mary herself but Mary thinks of the months of being separated from her mother and thinks that the intent did not matter). 

So she is glad to avoid him for the moment - glad to dote on little Elizabeth and baby Tommy (”I know it is a common name but it is one that has not been used for a Prince of Wales so he will always be the first and it seemed right to name him for my father” Anne tells them, cradling her baby son in a way that makes Mary feel both yearning and an apprehension at own future motherhood) and spend time among a friendly court.

She is glad that she does not meet her fathers mistress for she does not think she can bear to look at her - though her loathing is almost nothing to her mothers, who sees another Bessie Blount but worse. 

Mary, Mary looks at her little sister and hopes that Elizabeth does not remember any of this. That she will never have to have the pain that Mary has had and that Mary can protect her and Tommy from it. She never wants them to fear their father the way she does.

* * *

Thomas Cromwell does not dance, not in public or at least not often. He is dancing now, because Anne had asked him and Henry, Henry almost cannot breathe at how beautiful they are. He had come upon Anne and dismissed her maids, asking softly if he might help her dress for the feast and had asked if Thomas might join them. 

It had felt right, to kneel at their feet as he clothed them and now watching them together, Thomas not in his customary black for once and Anne radiant in purple makes him feel awed and sick all at once. He could have lost this, could have thrown this away for lust and his own fears. 

Thank the Lord it will be done soon and he can simply focus on how he must treasure them, how he must with all his heart and soul, rebuild what was lost. And if he cannot, he still must try because Henry Tudor knows now that he cannot stop loving these two. Cannot even imagine it, when once he had deluded himself into thinking that he could because he had been so terrified of losing it, of losing them. 

He will never make such a mistake again, Henry vows to himself.

* * *

Jane gaps at Henry because...because she cannot believe it. He had shared her bed only the day before, had spoken to her affectionately and apologised for his irritation the day he had returned from riding with the Queen. She had thought that they might renew their love, especially with the news she had to share with him. Her courses were late and while she could not be sure Jane had wanted to tell her love that they might have a child, hopefully another son, sooner than he had thought. She had dreamed in her heart that he would hear it with joy. 

Henry couldn’t dismiss her. Not now. Not when they could renew their love, not when there was so many of her dreams coming true (not all of them, it was true - Jane wished with all her heart that this babe would be born legitimate). She knows her Henry would not do such a thing, not with such evidence of their love. 

That is why she gapes at him, when he tells her so indifferently that a husband will be found for her and she is to be married immediately after she leaves court- she has no position there but that in Henry’s favour and heart so there is no reason for her to stay unless he wishes. 

“Henry, Henry...you can’t, love, not now. Not when...I’m with child, Henry, my love, we can have a new start, don’t you see? This is a sign!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Jane Deserves Better :/ (I'm not saying Henry isn't Trying it's just...HENRY TUDOR YOU CREATED THIS ENTIRE MESS UGH)  
2\. Characters Opinons/Takes On Jane Do Not Reflect The Authors Who Thinks She Deserves Better.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also want to put an additional note for homophobia and victim blaming attitudes

Henry stares at Jane in horror instead of delight and once again she finds herself on the edge of tears as he asks her if she is sure. The relief in his eyes when she says that she is not yet as her courses could merely be late is painful. More painful is that she is to leave court immediately - her wedding to be arranged regardless of whether there is a child in her belly or not and she is not to breathe a word to anyone of her suspicions. 

It hurts that Henry wants to hide her away like a dirty secret. It hurts that it seems to be for rebuilding his relationship with his Queen - how can it be, Jane wonders that he goes from professing his eternal love and devotion to me, looking at me as though I hang the moon and stars in the sky to shunning my presence for the Queen he had seemed to hate so very recently? And then a part of Jane thinks, perhaps he only told himself he hated her and loved me but no, Jane cannot think that. 

Henry must love me, she thinks. He must. After Jane orders her maids to pack up her things - for she is to go to her manor house until a husband is found for her she goes in search of Henry to say...to say goodbye, she supposes. Goodbye and perhaps, perhaps she can make him see that he does not want to send her away, that it is Jane he loves. It is when she is at the edge of Henry’s bedchamber, through a passage that he had shown her when their love was at it’s height, while telling her to never show it others that she hears Henry, speaking softly to someone who she cannot see. 

“Look at me, if you would, my heart. If I could, if it were in my power I would take this shame from you, I would take back the mistakes I have made these past months and I would hold you in my arms and never let you go - not for the world. But now, now I needs must start anew - may I hold you, Tom?”

Jane, Jane can hardly believe it. Henry, her Henry, is speaking words of love to...Lord, he is speaking words of love to a man. A grasping sodomite who she knows has corrupted Henry into this vice, has made him stray from Jane. She can feel poisonous hatred in her heart, can feel her hands balling into fists that this sinner has taken everything from her with black arts. 

She storms away, more determined than ever that she will win Henry back, will break the dark magic that has clearly beguiled him away from her. A child will make sure of it, Jane thinks, holding a hand to her still flat stomach. 

* * *

Henry looks down at Thomas, whose head is in his lap and feels as though he is home, especially with Anne sleeping in the great bed beside them and thinks he will soon have the passage he showed Jane blocked off, because he cannot stand the thought that his mistakes will taint what should be, what he wishes to rebuild with Anne, Tom and their children. 

Surely, surely the Lord cannot begrudge me this, cannot begrudge us this love - not when it has bought joy when I embraced it and sorrow when I turned away. And that, that is why he has decided what he wishes to give Thomas. A Dukedom. But more than that, he wishes to give him a Dukedom that cannot be taken away, that he will swear upon the host and by the Lord that whatever may happen, Thomas will not die in pain. That his family will be safe, even if Henry should be so shortsighted as to repeat his recent mistakes. Because he understands now, that trust will take time to be rebuilt, if ever it can but this way, this way he can give Thomas something to hold on to. 

He can swear, with a witness that Anne will always be safe and will always be able to be with their children. I can do that much, Henry thinks, even if they can never share my bed and my heart again, I can give my loves this much. 

It is something to hope for. It is something to guide him truly, when he had been so misled by false paths and idols. 

* * *

Anne wants to believe. Wants to, desperately and yet she curses herself for doing so, because had she not learned enough from the harsh lessons Henry had taught her and Thomas? Was not even the threat of the blade enough to cure her heart of trusting her husband? It appeared not and Anne was displeased with herself. She had thought perhaps she could be the perfect Queen that Henry had professed to wish for, that she could keep her heart for her children, her people, her family and her Thomas and could make sure that Henry had none of it. But...it was so hard, when Henry seemed so much like the Henry he had been on that golden day. The Henry who had courted her and the Henry of the early years of their marriage, before she lost her second child. 

When he hands her the documents for Thomas’ Dukedom and her own guarantees in law Anne, Anne cries. She cannot help it for the wall around her heart is shattering. This, more than anything else - more than words and gifts and letters has made her think that perhaps, perhaps her heart is not wrong after all. That perhaps Henry can truly be the man he had been to her and Tom. That perhaps they can rebuild after all. 

“Thank you, Henry. I...thank you love” she says. Settling into the circle of his arms feels right, although not without a twinge of pain. Even the kiss she gives him feels right, somehow, even if it is tinged with grief. 

* * *

Henry twirls Anne around in a flash of purple silk and black hair and opens his arms to Thomas, who walks into the room with a soft smile on his face upon seeing them together and he takes Henry’s hand, softly and hesitantly but...oh, Henry thinks, it is truly as though my soul is home. 

“Do you know, my hearts - I would wish to lay you both on this bed and then perhaps, I might hold you and kiss you until we are breathless.” 

* * *

Jane’s upset that she is to marry William Parr is perhaps as great as that of his family that she is to be his wife - no matter what titles or funds have been thrown at William as compensation none of them wish to welcome the woman who had nearly killed their beloved Queen and the Lord Chancellor who had done so much to advance the cause of the Religious Settlement. His youngest sister Catherine even declares that she will not attend the wedding, she is so angry.

* * *

“I will not treat her cruelly - it would not be well done as a gentleman.” William said firmly. “She deserves the chance to be welcomed, no matter the past and I’m sure it cannot be an easy thing, to be sent away in such a way”

He looks at his younger sister with a sigh, seeing the stubborn set of her mouth and knowing that Cate was clearly unconvinced and then looked at his mother, who was still clearly angry that her son had been given another man’s castoffs. Even a kings. 

William himself had not been entirely delighted that he might end up giving his name to a child that was not his and a wife who was no virgin but he also had no wish to start married life by making it a misery for the Lady in question - what was done was done and he would not reproach her. 

“Just...just try to give her a chance, that is all I ask.”

What happens is that neither Jane nor Maude nor Catherine take to each other at all. Jane thinks they are hateful, determined to hide her away like a dirty secret and Maude and Cate think Jane is a shameless, pride filled woman who seems to still believe the King in love with her and seems to have no remorse for the damage she has caused. 

It is only Anne Parr, the youngest of the family, who takes the time to befriend Jane and talks to William about her truly (the women of the family have been sent to keep Jane company before her wedding to William). 

“She’s sweet and kind Will - she truly is, but she’s so naive and I think her shyness can come off as pride when it is nothing like that and she does believe the King loves her but she is not unaware of what that love has cost and truly, she is so sorry for it.”

-

Jane is glad for the kindness Anne Parr shows her even if the name Anne makes her uncomfortable. Even she is determined to get out of marrying her brother, however good William might be. She needs to break the spell that the sodomite has placed over Henry. If it requires sacrifice then, well, the Lord has commanded that sacrifices be made for the greater good and Jane, Jane will see it done. 

She slips away from her keepers and orders the carriage to head back to court, where she knows the royal children are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Hi everyone meet Unexpected Cate Parr (who in this universe is born slightly later as her brother is born slightly earlier) - I was pondering who Jane might marry and um, this came to me.  
2\. Oh Jane :/. Henry however is Getting There (mostly???)  
3\. One of the things I really wanted to articulate, I think was that, okay some of it is 'fuck it it's my AU verse and there will be acceptance from at least some people and also NONE OF THE BOLEYN FAMILY IS STRAIGHT ;)' but some of it is I genuinely, genuinely wanted to show that none of the OT3 think of their children as illegitimate. They think of themselves as married - not in the Church but before the Lord (G-d approves!) and actually, it's somewhat echoing of the medieval marriage rite which didn't actually require a church wedding. I wanted them to not have angst about being Not Straight and have, okay not all the people closest to them but at least a certain number (the Boleyn Family, Gregory Cromwell, eventually Mary and her husband) because well, self indulgence and also There Were Not Straight People In History And They Could Be Happy.


	15. Chapter 15

She is halfway through her journey when Jane realises that she has almost no chance. How can I hope this would work, she thinks to herself - I am only one woman with no one I can trust and while the Lord might have charged me with saving the Henry’s soul surely he cannot expect me to do it all alone, with no resources? 

Perhaps, Jane thinks I should simply go back, claim a non existent visit to my remaining family called me away and be content with the marriage I have been given. I could find another way to pull Henry away from that sodomite without exposing him, I could bide my time and be content. But then she thinks of the child that might even now be growing inside her, thinks of how that child could have been welcomed with love and joy inside of a hushed secret if only Henry had not been so corrupted. 

If only Henry had not turned away from her. No, Jane thinks, I must do this, no matter the cost. I must do this for his own good and in time my love will thank me for opening his eyes and saving his soul. In time, he will understand. 

It is when she is exchanging clothes with the servant she has bribed that Jane feels blood running down her legs and realises that her courses have come after all. There was no child and she feels rage through her tears, sure that it was that sodomite cursing her so that she would not be blessed with a child. Perhaps that was why there had been no child in the months she had spent with Henry, for they had certainly had every chance to have one and her prayers can only have been thwarted by something evil. Someone evil, she thinks, her resolve strengthening. 

No, she must do this. If she does not, then the Lord knows what will happen to the baby Prince and the Princess if she does not act. And Jane knows she is the only one who can. Her hands do not even tremble as she adds the sleeping draught to the food she brings to the ladies who tend the the royal childrens nursery. She knows she is doing the right thing. She knows it.

* * *

No one notices that Jane is gone - her sister in laws and mother in law to be had left for the day to attend to matters back home and indeed no one had thought they would need to guard her - Jane they all agreed, was many things but she was obedient to a fault and they were sure she would stay quietly in the manor and not flee. And even if she would try, where would she go? Certainly not to her remaining sister, whose sympathies did not lie with her or to her parents who felt that she had disgraced them or her remaining brother who was too shrewd to indulge any of her fancies about making the King love her again. 

No, it was safe enough to leave the woman with the servants.

* * *

Jane waits to make sure the women are sleeping before she picks the little Prince out of his cradle, praying he will not wake up. Princess Elizabeth is not there and Jane has no time, though her heart shudders at the thought of leaving an innocent little girl in peril from the man who has committed so many evils there is no choice. She can only hope that she will be kept safe from him, though it does not seem like enough, not really. 

“Hush, hush, little one. Hush” 

The little Prince’s eyes are fluttering open and Jane desperately rocks him, hoping he will return to sleep. Hoping that the noise of the palace around them will cover his cries if he does. She has to succeed. She has to keep him safe, she has to do this and make Henry listen so she can break the evil hold on him and this, this was the only way she could think to make him listen to her. 

“Hush, hush sweetling.”

The little prince stays asleep but only with the help of a little of the sleeping draught she has left over and eventually Jane can return to her carriage - she has a little money - enough to find a place for both of them that cannot easily be found. As she looks down at the sleeping Prince she finds herself dreaming that he is her son, her and Henry’s - this sweet little golden prince who would be the expression of their love and who had been so welcomed by the country. She had carefully printed out a note for Henry - she had not wanted him to worry, had wanted him to know that they were safe but that he needed to listen to her and this was the only way she could think of, for he would not have paid her any heed otherwise. 

She knows Henry will understand. Even the Queen will, once everything is settled. Jane knows the Lord will make sure of it and will make sure that the grasping sodomite who has forced her into this will die for his sins. 

-

The King was not screaming, no, but it was far more terrifying than that, Audley thought to himself. It was the kind of icy rage that chilled all who beheld it, the kind of rage that reminded you that for all Henry Tudor was known as an affable King he was still a King and a great one at that. And his wrath was still terrible - Lord hope that I am never on the receiving end of it, Audley thinks as Henry looks down at the badly printed note once again. 

The Queen is not in evidence. Nor is the Lord Chancellor.

* * *

Jane Seymour does not expect Queen Anne to walk through her door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Jane historically did not get pregnant until around January 1537. I am, how does one say, Extremely Bad At Time (some of it is just me going 'idek magic throwing up my hands here') but I did know that 1536 has not yet ended and so, there ended up being no baby Edward or Margarey Fitzroy.   
-Also Jane is...honestly in a really bad place at this point :/. (She's in love or at least genuinely believes herself to be in love with someone who was the first person to really actually cherish her, she's been pretty sheltered in a lot of ways, she's being married off into a family who mostly Does Not Like Her, the child she thought she might have had hasn't happened after all and basically 'evil sodomite corrupted my true love away from me' is something that makes sense :/. She is really really not herself and okay, my heart hurts for her).


	16. Chapter 16

Anne isn’t sure of much, in the hours after she finds out her child has been kidnapped by her husbands former mistress but she is sure that she is glad that Henry is not present - because she is not sure what she would have done. On the one hand her anger is sharp like a knife - that Henry had been the one who had allowed the woman into their lives, that Henry had once thought that she might have been a mother to Anne’s children but on the other? Anne does not wish to say something unwise. 

The other part of her? The other part of her is somewhere between scared for her baby son and furious at Jane Seymour. She thinks if Tommy has been harmed, has been scared in any way she might kill the woman herself. Looking at Thomas she thinks he might help her - for all that her Thomas was a gentle soul he was not so when those he loved were threatened. Not at all. 

“I..what if he isn’t wrapped up well? He needs me to feed him, Tom - what if he’s hungry and crying and no one pays him any heed? What if...”

Anne is glad that Thomas doesn’t say anything about how her baby can’t be dead because no one can know what might go through Jane Seymours mind or what she might do. She is glad that he can understand that she does not want empty reassurances. Even if it breaks her into pieces to think of Anne would rather face what she must because even if it does not help at all, her baby boy will not face it alone - she will be there as his mother and so will his Papa. 

Both his Papa’s, she adds to herself. Because Henry, in the glimpse she had of him had looked angrier than she had ever seen him - at Jane and, she thinks, at himself.

* * *

“I may know where she might have gone” 

Elizabeth Seymour goes straight to the point and Anne is glad of it - she could not bear any delay for formality now. It turns out that the Seymour family have acquired a small house and surrounding lands not far from London which had been rented out but the tenants had briefly left to visit their new grandchild- the important thing being that it is private and well concealed enough to be overlooked and has store enough of food and firewood to keep an occupant for a long while without needing to purchase more supplies. 

Anne refuses to stay behind to hear that it is impossible that she should go and she is glad that Thomas merely goes with her - though he asks that she takes guards and it is Thomas who sees to the precautions. Anne is glad she had thought of that and that Thomas had the ability to organise it because much of her mind was focused merely on getting her baby back. And perhaps, strangling Jane Seymour with her bare hands.

* * *

Henry was angry at himself - Charles could see that but he could also see that the scales had fallen from his eyes and he saw the Seymour bitch as she really was. Charles wishes it had not taken such extremes for it to happen. Especially this. Especially when Henry finds his wife has gone to find her son herself. 

“I have to follow them...Charles, please, let me finish this. It is my mistakes that have led to this and as a man, as a knight, as a king I needs must fix it as best I can and I do not want Anne to be harmed any more than she has already been. If you love me...brother, if you love me please, allow me to go.”

Charles does. Of course he does, he cannot do otherwise and besides he is fairly certain that his beloved Queen will likely have dealt with the Seymour woman before Henry arrives. Bright, kind and beautiful Queen Anne may be but she was truly a lionness - especially when her children were threatened. 

“Lord, let him live.” Charles finds himself saying under his breath, as his wife holds his hand. They are both praying for their nephew, their brother and their sister as much as the Prince, the King and the Queen. More than, even.

* * *

Jane clutches the baby tighter. The Queen can’t have him. She can’t, Jane thinks - she doesn’t know how to keep him safe, how to keep Henry safe if that heretical sodomite wormed his way in to their lives. Jane has to keep him because she was the only one who saw it truly - and the Prince was meant to be her son. 

“Jane, he’s crying” 

When she hears Thomas Cromwell she sags in relief. Surely he will understand, when he had been nothing but kind to her and for all he is a Lutheran she knows him to be devout. 

“I have to...I have to keep him safe. I’m not going to hurt him - I’ve taken care of him! He was going to be corrupted by evil, just like his majesty and I needed to keep him safe. I needed his majesty to listen to me and he...”

Jane can feel the tears in her voice as she clutches the babe to her chest. 

“He would not so I had to...I had to make sure he was safe.” 

Thomas voice was gentle, almost as Jane remembered her fathers might have been when she was very young but sweeter. 

“I know you wouldn’t hurt him Jane. I know that but he needs his mother, Jane, can you understand that? He needs to be fed and he needs to be home safe in his cradle - I know you never meant for this to happen but you are hurting him.” 

It stings Jane. It truly does but..she is sure if she can just make Master Cromwell understand, if she can explain that she can be...

“Please, I can be his mother. I can - he needs a mother who can keep him safe from the corrupt heretical sodomite who has drawn the King into such practices Master Cromwell. Her Majesty has not and I was so scared that...”

Jane does not look at the Queen, who had moved to stand behind Cromwell so she had not seen her creeping around behind her. 

“Lady Seymour - would you give me the babe? I promise, I will not be the one to take him away but you need to rest, I can see it. Would you trust me? To make certain that the little Prince is cared for?” 

Jane...Jane stops because....she is so tired. So very tired. Her arms are so heavy but she cannot give him up. She cannot. 

“Will you at least take a draught?” 

She nods. That, that surely she can do without endangering the baby and so she takes the flask Master Cromwell gives her without suspicion. It tastes wonderful on her parched throat and as he promised he does not move to grab the Prince and Jane begins to have hope - perhaps she can....but then she feels her eyes growing heavier and heavier, can feel her grip loosing on the baby. 

The last thing she sees before her eyes close is Queen Anne’s face as the Queen plucks the baby from her arms. 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Do not underestimate an extremely motivated Gryffinclaw/Slytherpuff team up (i.e. Anne and Tom Cromwell)!  
2\. I would like to shout out the music of Karliene Reynolds who provided the soundtrack for the writing of this chapter as well as various friends who have provided support and love and gifs of adorable baby animals.


	17. Chapter 17

“In all honesty I would have said that I would stab her myself for what she did. For endangering Tommy, for thinking she would make a better mother to him than I, for the way she dared to judge...” 

Anne trails off and George looks at his little sister. 

“And now?”

“I still wish I could strangle her myself but Tom made a suggestion to me and it made much more sense. He said, why not confine her to a nunnery for the rest of her life - let her live every day with what she has done, with what she has lost rather than letting her think she can martyr herself. And I will look merciful.”

Sometimes, sometimes you could forget that Anne Boleyn could be ruthless in defence of those she loved but today, today George could not forget it - looking at the steel in her eyes. But then, then she sagged a little. 

“Do you think we...I know I should have more mercy for her, more charity but...she tried to take my son from me, George. After everything, she tried to take our son from us and then slanders Tom as immoral.” 

“Annie, you do not have to feel merciful.” is what George says in the end. He thinks he might be able to find more words, about how it is a mercy that she has done, about how it is right that she and Tom have their anger but he settles for hugging his sister. 

It is to her sister Mary that Anne finally asks if she should not be less harsh and Mary only looks at her with tears in her eyes and says that Anne and Thomas have been more so than they could be expected to be. 

“You are only human sister and I do not think the Lord begrudges that.” 

(Mary might hold Henry Tudor to his own responsibility for the mess but she also holds Jane). 

-

Henry knows, Henry knows how much he is responsible for the mess that has resulted. He was the one who encouraged Jane in her notions, he was the one who did not dismiss her with more clarity. He was the one who...he knows that his anger is as much for himself as for her, but it does not mean he is not enraged that this woman who he had once thought to be the soul of kindness and purity has turned out to be anything but. 

-

Jane is not ill cared for. In fact, due to her status she is given a lovely set of chambers, a maid to care for her and her tasks are to sew, to embroider and to work in the still room. It is still a prison. It is still the knowledge that she is never to go beyond the walled garden courtyard again. It is still knowing that she will stay here for the rest of her life - slowly withering away. 

It could have been worse, she thinks. It could have been the tower for me. It could have been the axe or the fire and perhaps, perhaps there is still hope for my love if he has only sentenced me to this rather than death. Perhaps he will soon realise that he still loves me, that he needs to return to me and all will be well again. 

She can only hope for that is all she has now. Hope that whoever the heretical sodomite is, he will be exposed. Hope that perhaps Henry will understand that Anne Boleyn is not the right Queen for him. Hope that he will return to Jane. 

-

Truthfully, Truthfully Anne isn’t sure how she feels about Henry. Perhaps she’ll never be truly sure again, though she knows she loves him the rest...the rest is never going to be the same. But she thinks that perhaps, perhaps they might be able to build something new. Perhaps there truly is hope that he can be patient enough with her and Tom to build such a thing. 

“I think, I think we can chance to hope” is what Thomas says, smiling sadly. 

-

“My love, you don’t understand - you and Anne have always been worthy of a crown and more than worthy of my heart, of my soul. It is I, my raven, who must atone and prove myself to you both. Never, not for a moment think that you are unworthy of all that is good in the world for it should be yours.”

Henry, Henry is kneeling at his feet and Thomas Cromwell, the blacksmiths son from Putney cannot but think he must be in a dream. The King of England is kneeling before him, reverence in his eyes and holding a crown to him. 

“Please, my heart - I would that I could crown you before the world but if I cannot I will crown you before the Lord and then, then I can give you somewhat else”

It is Anne who hands him the ring - a match for the one’s that his King and Queen wear, Anne who says “here love, a ring to make a true marriage” but Henry, Henry who says that he should have done this long ago. 

“I do not believe The Lord would look askance on such a marriage as this - though the world might think it so. Let me build our love anew, my hearts.” 

And so they are wed, the three of them by no other presence than each other, the candlelight and the Lord. It feels, it feels right, as nothing has for a long time, Henry thinks and when he prays in the end, he feels it has been answered by the Lord and the Lord has given them a blessing. 

As the three of them fall into sleep together the three candles remain steady but for a moment, just a moment, they turn into starlight, moonlight and sunlight and the scent of honey and summer flowers twines its way through the room. 

-

Jane Seymour strokes her belly and thinks perhaps, the Lord has answered her after all and that she may in fact, not have lost the child of her love.


	18. Chapter 18

Jane does not want to share her hope - it is too new and she has already felt the pain of the loss of a possible child but she is, in her heart, certain that this child will live. And that he will be a boy, a child of her and her love who will bring them back together. She knows, in her heart as she strokes her slowly growing stomach that this child will bring righteousness back to England as Anne Boleyn’s son never could. 

She knows he will make all well again. She knows it for sure - for the Lord has merely sent her these trials to test her faith to be sure she is worthy and she is sure the Lord has found her so now. 

“Be strong my son. Be strong.” she whispers to her stomach. 

-

“William, you cannot think to visit her - she is not your wife and she deceived you besides - what madness is this, that you would see a woman who is only spared from the Tower by the grace of the Queen?”

William Parr looks at his sister beseechingly - just as he had when he was a child and had gotten into a mischief that he wished his older sister to fix. 

“Cate...Cate I...I just, I need to talk to her...”

The silence drags on before William finally blurts out the truth. 

“I bedded her Cate. I did not think it wrong - we were already betrothed and were to be wed in such a short time and I felt for her, she had had so much loss already and she was so kind when I surprised her with a visit and...”

“Oh Will. Oh Will.” Catherine shakes her head with a sigh. “You cannot visit her. Do not think of it - for one I do not believe the convent will accept visitors, let alone male ones and for another you would come under suspicion if you even attempted it. Forget it and forget her and forget that you told me this - does anyone else know?” 

“No, no Cate - I surprised her in the gardens and well, she was alone because her maid had had to retire and...”

“I see well enough, brother. Well there is that, at least. Do not give it anymore thought.” 

Will nods to his sister but he is not sure that he can put it out of his mind. Jane had been so sweet, so kind in those moments they had had together and he had thought they would do well together. He had even begun to dream of children with her blue eyes and his brown hair, of how well she would be in his home. He knows he should think her entirely wicked but he finds he cannot, not even now. 

-

The pain in Anne and Tom’s eyes when they had learned that Jane Seymour was with child had pierced Henry’s soul but he had been amazed that they had both been firm that he must acknowledge the child - that it would be Henry’s son or daughter and they would be innocent and deserving of a father. 

(”It hurts Tom” Anne had said “It hurts to think of but...I cannot let a child be cast aside for my hurt”) 

He had almost thought not to tell them - to merely tell Audley that he wished the matter to be handled with discretion and the resulting infant to be adopted by a suitable and loyal family but he knew somehow that he could not rely on such a secret being kept - especially if the child was a boy. And he could not repay the chance he had been given with deception. 

No, no he would tell them the truth and let things fall where they might. He had already vowed that when he wed Anne and Thomas together he would face the truth of his mistakes because he could not do less for them. 

And no, he does not think of his child as a mistake but he wishes he had not burdened it with such a mother. 

-

There is unkind gossip when the news that Jane Seymour is with child eventually comes out - however discreet the nuns, the maids and the midwife hired to oversee the delivery are there are some who are not and it comes back to court. Anne is loved, yes but there is still gossip - some saying that she might be discarded after all, that the King has fallen back in love with Jane and will restore her from the convent after the child is delivered. 

Henry glares but he knows that he cannot quell gossip - it is one of the limits of his powers as King (the secret of the three of them is kept by the discretion of a select group of servants and the courts scepticism that Thomas Cromwell has any desires or feeling at all - “I swear, he must be more ice than man” one courtier had once said in Henry’s hearing and Henry had been torn between rage and laughter - for had he not just kissed a laughing Thomas in their bed?) and any notice would only add fuel. But it is still hard. 

Anne bears it with a graceful Queenly air but she delights in spending time with Bess, Tommy and Tom. With both Princess Mary’s and her family but her eyes around him are still wary and Henry knows it. 

-

It is an awful thing to think but Jane thinks she hates her child. Her girl child. She had been so sure, so certain and it had been taken away from her and she is sure that it is the fault of that black sorcerer who has poisoned Henry’s heart. The child does not even look like Henry - she has Jane’s blue eyes and a smattering of brown curls. She is small and delicate (”She’s healthy my lady, for all that she came early” the midwife had said cheerfully as though there was anything to be cheerful about when the wrong child had lived to be born) and Jane rages to look at her. 

Someone had asked her what she wished the child to be named (she had wanted to name her son Edward for her brother and his great grandfather) and she had felt resentment that they should want her to care about such things for the child she did not want but had stammered out that she would defer to his majesty on the matter. 

She does not want to think on the child any further. 

-

Henry looks down at his new daughter with a sad but fond smile and says that he will name her Margarey. 

“Lady Margarey Fitzroy. She can stay with her mother for the time being” he decrees - later Henry will give her a household of her own or perhaps he will ensure she is raised either with her half siblings or in a family that will love her but is also loyal to Anne but it seemed cruel to rip an infant from a mother so early - even to Jane. 

-

“I don’t want it. I don’t want her here - you can leave her as a foundling for all I care. She’s a cursed child of Satan and she caused my son to not be born - I wish for nothing to do with her, do you hear me” is what Jane says to the Abbess who comes to tell her of the Kings decision. 

The Abbess looks at the young woman and sighs - she can see that the lady is in pain and clearly not well but also that she adamantly wants nothing of the care of her child and it would be dangerous to try. Perhaps, perhaps with time and care it might change but for now the Abbess merely hires a wetnurse and a maid for the child with the funds that have been provided and takes little Lady Margarey away. 

The child does not cry but her eyes already seem to be sad, although she knows she is not a welcomed child. 

-

“Cate, you can’t think to do this? To raise the bastard child of that woman - you are to be married yourself soon and have children of your own - why would you bring a...”

“Because the child is an innocent, mama. And whatever her mothers sins she deserves to be with people who will love her, not shame her for something she has no part in. Hal agrees with me, in any case - we will raise her and love her and it will be well.” 

Catherine Parr looked at her mother fiercely. 

“Besides, would you prefer she goes to the Seymours. Lord only knows what they might teach her.” 

Maude Parr had to agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Firstly I want to apologise for the break between updates - I sort of had a giant Writers Block Of Sad :/ (thank you to the Kingdom of Ash playlist on Spotify that helped in the writing of this).   
-Secondly I debated a long time with myself about what direction I was going to in with regards to little Margarey Fitzroy - I ended up with the ambiguous parentage because honestly, my characters tell me things and refuse to go with another direction and to be able to write at all I have to just kind of go with it. (Also I wanted the Parrs to continue to be involved and also [redacted for spoilers])   
-I kind of borrowed PanBoleyn in Handmaids husband for Cate Parr just fyi. (Also somewhat what happened to Edward Fitzroy there because I knew I wanted Margey to have loving adoptive parents.


	19. Chapter 19

When Cate Parr, soon to be the Countess of Surrey discovers that her brother has written to the King about his possible parentage of little Margarey Fitzroy she is displeased. She is even more so when she discovers what else he has written.

“Will, you cannot think to marry that woman - not after everything she has done! And to ask for her release - what has possessed you?”

“She was not in her right mind and I believe that now, she is truly repentant and it would be wrong to not show her mercy. Besides, I dishonoured her by laying with her before we were wed - it is only right that I honour those vows and give our child legitimacy.”

There was a stubborn note in Williams voice that his sister knew meant she could not talk him out of the course he had decided on.

“And I believe we can truly be happy together. I love her and I think she will come to love me.”

“At least...Will at least tell me she will be watched.”

William looked stiff and uncomfortable.

“The Abbess has vouched for her repentance and return to herself so I do not believe she needs to be watched - but we will remain in the country and not come to court, for everyone’s sake.”

And what, what makes you think the King will agree to this, is what Maude Parr asks her son. He replies only that the King had agreed and that was the end of it.

In fact William Parr had not been entirely truthful in his letter to the King - he had said that he would keep Jane imprisoned but that he felt it best if their child could reside with them, away from court and gossip about her ambiguous parentage - he would marry Jane to ensure the child had legitimacy and would provide for them both.

Henry, knowing the Parr’s loyalty and also not wishing an innocent child to suffer any further for her parents mistakes (whether he himself had fathered her or not) had agreed after consulting with both Thomas and Anne.

Court gossip agrees that the child is very likely not Henry’s after all, but speaks of the indulgence of the King in providing funds for her.

-

What William wanted was to give his Jane freedom and he would do anything to do so - he truly believed in her repentance and it made Jane smile to think that the Lord had managed it so. Yes, she would have to suffer the girl but William was, although not her love, not unpleasing to her and after all, he had been guided to her to further her quest to tear Satan’s influence from her Henry. And she would do it, Jane was sure of that.

She has to hide her smile when she hears that Williams sister is to have much of the raising of the girl after all - she knows William does not know the girl is cursed after all so Jane makes a show of being upset but understanding that they must be sure she is truly safe.

-

Margarey does not like her mother. She knows she should, knows she should love her as she does her Mama Cate and Papa Hal but she does not. In fact she dreads the weeks she spends with her mother and father. Her father is kind but he always looks at her sadly and never seems to really be at ease with her because Margarey makes her mother sad.

And she is never allowed to be around her little brother Edward, not the way she is with her brothers and sisters at home. But when she asks if she can not go there her father is always upset and insists on it. Margarey does not understand why.

She had asked her Mama Cate why her mother never left her house that Margarey has seen and her Mama had only said that her mother had done a bad thing that meant she couldn’t but it wasn’t Margareys fault. 

-

William knows Jane will come around to their daughter in the end - she just needs time. He refuses to listen to anyone else - they are simply prejudiced against Jane, who is so kind and loving that he knows she will be able to embrace their daughter soon.

He knows Margarey will understand one day, even if she does not now. 

-

Every day Jane wishes that she could push the cursed demon girl away from her, because a part of her wants to soften and she knows, she knows that that is Satan tempting her - that the heretical sodomite who caused the girls birth is trying to work his dark magic to make her relent.

So she hardens her heart and cradles her little Edward closer, wishing, wishing that he was her Henry’s. Wishing that she did not have to play the part of a loving wife to a man she does not love but alas, she must suffer so that the Lord will reward her and give her her chance. And when it comes she will take it.

-

Anne had not wanted to become pregnant again for a long time. But then she had not wanted to truly share a bed with Henry for a long time - they had kissed, they had embraced and slept together in that embrace but to lay with him made her recoil. After everything, she did not know if she could ever do so. To the outside world they have reconciled - sharing a bed every night and in many ways they had, truly. 

Henry, Henry had given them time. But Anne had not been sure, not until she told him she was with child, a child that could not be his by blood. Henry, Henry had been delightedly, joyfully happy (”what shall we call them, my darlings?”) as he spun her and Tom around the room. 

And now, now she holds their new son in her arms on Christmas Day and feels that the Lord is truly kind. He had been a easy birth and their new Prince is clearly as much of a miracle as their other children - he is dark haired and eyed, with small wisps of curls already showing beneath his swaddling and while Anne can see her Thomas in him she can also see her father and she even thinks there is a similarity to some of the Tudor ancestors whose blood he does not share. 

“He is to be George, for your brother and his Godfather?” Henry asks her and Anne smiles and says yes, yes he is and Thomas, Thomas has tears of joy in his eyes as Henry kisses them both, saying he cannot thank them enough for this child, this Duke of York. 

-

Margarey does not understand why, on her next visit to her mother, her mother throws things when she hears that the King and Queen have a new son.


	20. Chapter 20

Catherine has decided that little Margarey is half Parr, not half Tudor - “even if she is not, better she grow up being so than the bastard daughter of a king by a woman guilty of treason who the country despises” is what Hal had said to her and Cate has to agree - as Margarey Parr, their daughter is safe. As Margarey Fitzroy, she is not.

And Cate is almost, almost certain. Their little girl has brown curly hair like her birth father and blue eyes and features that are all Seymour. And yet, there will always be doubts and whispers about her that Cate hopes to keep from her as long as she can.

Margey, as she is known by her family is a sweet, kind and shy girl with an intelligence that surprises her tutors and a caring nature that Elizabeth Seymour says her sister had had.

When Cate gives birth to twin boys, Margarey asks if they still love her and Cate and Hal both rush to hug her and say of course they do - she is their precious little girl and that will never change.

“I think we should name them Harry for Papa and John for Grandpapa” is what Margarey says and Hal ruffles her hair gently and says that they are fine names and when they are older they will know their big sister named them which settles the matter. 

As Margey grows she is far far more a Parr than ever and Cate and Hal think of her as nothing but their precious daughter and wish that she would never have to visit Jane Seymour-Parr ever again. 

-

Jane has never seen Prince Thomas since his babyhood but she has dreams about him - about how she could have been such a wonderful mother to him. She thinks of Princess Elizabeth as well and knows she would have been the kind of mother the little girl needed rather than the Queen. She wonders how the little Prince is - no one will talk to her about the royal family and she cannot ask her husband without alerting him so she relies on overheard gossip from the servants. 

She hears that the Prince is the image of his father, that little Elizabeth has the Tudor red hair and that the new Prince George takes after his Tudor ancestors with his dark curls and eyes. All Jane can think is that she is more their mother than the Queen can ever be because she knows better how to conduct herself as a wife and as a Queen. She knows she would be better. 

She would keep them safe. But Jane has no idea how she will regain her place, though she must trust that the Lord will provide her with a chance even if it is hard to wait for it. 

-

“I don’t want to go” 

Margarey was usually a sweet and easy child but in this moment she is determined and no coaxing will convince her. Truthfully neither Cate or Hal wish their daughter to go at all but they know that if she does not there will be a fuss that may bring unwanted attention. 

“My lady mother doesn’t like me mama and my lord father doesn’t like me either because I make her sad and I don’t want to go please mama?”

Cate cannot deny her daughter, especially looking into her small sad face and takes her into her arms with a sigh. 

“Your papa and I will write to them but no, my darling, you don’t have to go.”

Margey hugs them both in delight and then runs off to play. Cate looks at Hal with a sigh. 

“I know my brother will be angry but I couldn’t send her there again. We’ve tried, we really have but Margey is so unhappy there and I can’t...”

“I can’t bear it anymore either Cat” Hal opens his arms to her. “Seeing our little girl enduring that misery and resentment is not worth whatever peace within the family we might have had. Let your brother live with his choices alone and leave Margarey out of it.”

-

Jane finds her chance when it turns out Catherine Parr wants to keep the girl with her permanently. Jane is delighted beyond measure but of course her husband is furious. It is easy enough to steer him to the fact that it is the Queen behind it, that she is denying Jane her daughter out of cruelty and is clearly no fit Queen. 

No it is easy enough to make sure he will kill the Queen. And then Jane knows she can win back her Henry and she will be the mother the royal children, no Jane’s children (Edward’s birth had been so hard on her that Jane will have no more children but the Lord had provided her with more) and she will make sure the heretical sodomite will die screaming. 

She will spare Cromwell though - he had been kind to her, despite everything and Jane is grateful for it. She knows that he might be a heretic but he is merely misguided, just like her Henry and soon he will see the light. 

-

“I’m with child again” Anne tells her loves one morning while they are in bed together and everything feels golden and beautiful and Henry, Henry’s smile is truly of the sun itself. She and Tom had both waited for a change, for Henry to turn again but after the past three years they both feel secure - though they will never forget what happened she knows that they both know that they are safe in the heart of the Henry who waited for them. 

-

Henry looks at his loves as Tom kisses Anne in his delight and knows that the Lord has truly shown him the light anew and the many blessings that have come with it. 

“God is very good” Henry says softly to himself. For truly he has been given a chance to make a golden world anew. 

-

William knows exactly how he will kill the so called Queen. He knows that she goes about distributing charity in the town and if he finds himself a vantage point a swift arrow will take care of her cruelty and jealousy for good - he does not tell Jane the details for he knows his wife is a gentle soul and she does not need to know of such things, but he does let her know that he is doing the right thing for the Lord and the country and the King and the light her in eyes lets him know that he is truly blessed. 

For his wife loves him well, William knows that. 

So he disguises himself as a commoner and takes up a perch where he can best take aim - the woman takes the same route every time and finding her is easy enough. 

William does not hesitate as he draws the bow back - he knows he is doing the right thing, that all will be well when she is dead. Indeed it will be a golden world. 

He sees a dark haired figure fall to the ground and manages to muffle his triumphant yell as he drops the bow and goes to hide himself away until the commotion dies down. 

In the end he does not wait to hear the news that the Queen has died but instead goes home to his wife who smiles in delight at his work. 

-

Meanwhile Henry Tudor sits at the bed of his wife and his..his husband, Henry thinks. Their assailant had shot twice and hit them both and Henry, Henry vows that whoever it might be will die slowly and screaming. 

“My loves, please, please do not go. My lights in my dark world. You have done everything that you promised to me and more - do not leave me when we are on the edge of a golden world. Our children need you, our kingdom needs you. I need you. Please God, don’t take them away from me, not when we have just begun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The speech Henry gives at the end is adapted from his speech to Jane in Tudors S3.


	21. Chapter 21

When Anne opens her eyes the first thing she asks is about their baby - their baby who Henry is able to tell her is well. She does not stay awake long enough to ask after Thomas after that, but her sleep is healthy and the doctors tell Henry that the danger is passed.

It is not so for Thomas who tosses and turns with a fever that will not break and God, God Henry thinks do not be so cruel as to punish my love for the folly that is mine and mine alone. Do not let him go to you in such suffering, no matter how much he is worthy of the peace of heaven for there are those on earth who cannot bear to be parted from him. 

Henry waits by the bedside of his loves. Sleep is a distant memory and the thought of food sickens him. “I cannot leave them, I cannot - if I leave and he was...I could not bear it, to have him pass alone, to have Anne wake and find him...I cannot bear it Charles.” 

Charles had been hurt that Anne and Henry had not trusted him, had thought that he would be so faithless but...he understands why, in the end. And it makes him think far better of Cromwell, who has not flaunted the love he has been given in the slightest and who...by God, the man had suffered so much and still so many scorn him. Charles vows that if...he will be a friend to the man that his King and Queen love so much, be it sin...he cannot think it a sin. He cannot. 

So he stands beside his King, his friend, his brother and watches the two in the bed - one sleeping peacefully, one tossing with fever and prays. 

-

When William hears the news that the Queen has recovered but that Thomas Cromwell was wounded and is gravely ill he curses himself for a fool for not realising that the Queen would use her black arts to escape.

“...the child lives, thanks be to God” 

William only barely resists the urge to shake the servants who are gossiping but he finds that the Queen was pregnant when...by the Lord, he could have killed an innocent child, he thinks, shaking. Surely it was not...surely the Lord had favoured him by sparing the child but it had meant the Queen had survived. 

William is not sure that the child is worth the cost of that woman living - especially as she continues to influence her children. And it will mean that Jane will not be happy or well. No, William does not think it was worth the cost. 

-

Jane herself cannot think at all. She stares at the wall in her chambers unseeing and unspeaking. Trays of food and drink go untouched and there is...there is nothing. Nothing in her. She feels a ghost already. 

-

“Where is..where is Thomas?” 

Henry and Anne cling to each other over their love, tears in their eyes and unseeing of the worried faces of the others in the room. Anne is still very weak and confined to bed for the sake of her health and the child but her sister coaxes her to be carried to be bathed and change her clothes and eat a little and for Henry to do the same. 

And then Henry realises that they must tell the children - George is still too young to understand but Elizabeth and Tommy are old enough and bright enough to know that something is amiss. 

“He would not want them to see him like this” Anne says, her voice breaking as she speaks. 

-

“I’ll kill her. I’ll go and I’ll kill her and all will be well Janey. We will be happy - we can have our daughter back home with us and Ned and everything will be well”

Jane thinks she might have nodded mechanically at her husband. Yes...yes that should make things better. That’s what she had believed for so long, so it must be true. All would be well if Anne Boleyn was gone. She should feel something about it = some kind of emotion or feeling but there is nothing. Perhaps she has truly been hollowed out somehow because she should be delighted at the idea that her dreams will come true at last. She should be furious at her husbands failure. 

But there is nothing there. Nothing. 

-

“Father...papa, I love you. You have always been the kindest of fathers - even when I spilled ink all over your papers. Do you know, you never even raised your voice at me, you who people have called the black raven” 

Gregory Cromwell almost smiles through his tears. He feels a child again, wishing for the comfort of his fathers arms - the safety of his presence. 

“I do...I do not wish you to leave. I and Bess and Tommy and Georgie and the King and Queen and the child to be - we all need you. But I understand Papa, if you must go. Please do not linger on if the suffering is too cruel - please be at peace with Mama and Nora and Grace and do not think we who are left behind will be angry that...please go with our love.”

He leaves, sobbing on the arms of his wife but as he does he stops by the King and Queen and embraces them, whispering in their ears. 

(”Do not place blame on yourselves your majesties - it would be the last thing in the world he would wish of you”) 

-

“I’m sorry my darlings but your Papa is very sick and you cannot see him.” 

“If I give him my favourite knight, will it make him better? Or our puppy?” 

Tommy’s small face is so earnest and sad it breaks Henry’s heart. 

Elizabeth’s...Bess understands far too well, even at six years old, he can see it in her eyes. She knows, as Tommy (as bright as he is) does not that her Papa Thomas is dangerously ill, no matter how much they have tried to reassure her. 

“Why don’t we pray for him Tommy? And then you can give him your knight and I’ll..I’ll give him my doll.” 

And so it was that a small wooden knight and a doll sat under Thomas Cromwells arms as his husband and his wife lay beside him, as though they could will life into him by their mere presence. 

-

William Parr knows he needs to get inside the palace but he has no idea of how for access to the royal family is more tightly guarded than ever - even among the lower servants there is no one who will accept bribes and for all that his sister is a trusted lady to Anne Boleyn and William himself is known as a loyal man he is not close enough to the King to permitted entrance to the royal apartments. 

He paces with frustration, thoughts swirling around him - he has to do this. He has to. It is the only way to make Jane well, to regain their daughter and to set his world aright again. He must find a way somehow, no matter the cost. 

And so it is that William Parr kills a palace servant who shares somewhat of a similarity of face with him. He thinks he should feel something when he does so but he does not. There is nothing. Not even triumph. 

He will not need long to do what he must do, of course - the servant is one that serves in the Queen’s rooms and surely, surely they will not look too closely at such a trusted personage. Surely they will not think to. 

William Parr is caught by the guards as he attempts to go inside. The guards, not knowing anything more and thinking him merely a grasping noble whose desperation to speak to the King has overridden his sense almost, almost let him go. But one among them stops. 

“Hold him and fetch Sir Bryan - I want to be sure that there is nothing more amiss.” 

I should feel something, William thinks as they carry him off. I should feel something and yet I cannot. He should make some protest that they would hold him, a noble in such a way, should find a story that would make sense but it feels as though a weight sits against his tongue and he finds he cannot speak. 

-

Sir Bryan looks at the solid figure of William Parr and asks out loud what in heaven or hell had come over him to try to do such a thing as pass himself off as a servant in order to speak to the King - for what could be the point of such an action. If it was truly urgent there were any number of nobles whose discretion could be relied upon - there was even his sister who could pass a message to the Queen...

“though it would have, I suppose been somewhat delayed. After all Her Majesty is still recovering and should not be troubled with such things but surely, surely it could not be of such import...you have no involvement in matters of espionage or politics and I cannot think of what news you would bring otherwise that would necessitate such a scheme. So...why?” 

-

“...it was a private matter, Sir Bryan.” 

He forces the words out with an effort and then stills himself, trying to find the reason he should keep talking. William knows there are reasons he wishes to remain free, knows he should feel them greatly but it is as though he is numbed all over. 

“Surely it could wait for a...”

“It could not. It could not Sir Bryan. I had to...”

He stops but Sir Bryan has spotted his slip. 

“Had to what, exactly?” 

William Parr slumps in his chair. Suddenly his tongue lightens. Suddenly he feels as though he must talk, even if he still feels nothing and he restrains himself with an effort - he has to keep silent even if he can no longer think that the killing the Queen matters. That any of it matters. He is nothing now, he can see that now but he should try to see this through. Then he can rest. 

He lunges at Francis Bryan with a heavy ornament and hits him with a sickening thunk. He watches the man crumple to the floor and tries to summon any kind of triumph or horror and does not find it. 

William Parr picks up the man’s knife and makes his way out of the door, heading for the Queen’s rooms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Not to get into the details (because it's Extremely Gross) but I did work out the crossbow bolt treatment and survival  
2\. This was written to a Karliene Reynolds playlist and it helped a great deal.


	22. Chapter 22

When Doctor Linacre tells them that Thomas fever has broken Henry and Anne do not even pretend to hide their emotions.

“Thank the Lord. Thank the Lord.”

Charles thinks the emotion in Henry’s voice and the expression in Anne’s eyes would have moved a stone to tears - he wondered how could the world condemn such a depth of love, could call it lesser or evil when it was nothing but good.

“I caution your Majesties however - his grace will be a long time recovering - he will be weak and tire easily for a long time and the wound may ache, especially in the cold. I have a salve made for that...”

Linacre addressed the rest of his instructions to Lady Saville and Mary Boleyn, knowing that they would pay him heed when the King and Queen had their minds entirely on the man still sleeping upon the bed and so could relay the information later.

-

His love still looked ill - he was pale and far far too thin but the awful burning fever had left him and he no longer tossed and turned in a restless sleep or lay far too still but instead slept a healthy sleep.

When Thomas opens his eyes his loves are by his side. Anne holds him in her arms and Henry, Henry kneels by his bedside, his head in his, tears running down his face.

The apology in his eyes is more eloquent than any words, as is the soft kiss.

“Our child and I are well my heart” Anne says softly in response to Thomas first whispered question.

“And we are taking...firstly we will go to the manor in Kent, after you have seen the children, my hearts. They will stay with us but firstly I wish us to have some time alone, so you may begin to heal.”

Henry softly kissed Thomas again, before he began to speak.

“My dark haired love, nothing - no expense, no crown will be worthy of you and Anne but I will give all that is in my power so that you might heal well and be with us for many many years to come.”

When Tommy and Bess run into the room they nearly throw themselves at their Papa Thomas, but Bess stops them before Thomas opens his arms with happy tears in his eyes and holds them for a long time.

Henry does not even pretend not to weep, especially when little George is bought in and snuggles against his father while Anne does the same.

He will spend the rest of his life atoning for what he had so nearly broken but he would do so gladly, Henry thinks.

When the royal couple decide to take a retreat at the most lavish of the royal manor houses, with the royal children to join them, the court is not surprised - especially after recent events. Nor are they surprised that the Duke of Essex is chosen to be the advisor they will have accompanying them - he is staid and dull but no one can doubt his loyalty - much of the rest of the business of ruling will be accomplished via messenger and some few meetings of a reduced number of councillors so that the work of ruling would continue but the King would be free to spend time with his wife.

The death of William Parr (“a disturbance of the mind, surely or a disease of the brain that caused him to take leave of his senses enough so he missed the ledge from which he tripped and fell”) is not bought to the Kings attention - a sad accident, nothing more is the conclusion and he is sent back to be buried in his home parish. His family mourns, especially as William had been so odd of late but no one thinks it anything more than a tragic mischance.

-

Jane had never loved her husband. She had cared for him, had perhaps lusted for him and the way he looked at her as though she was the only lady of his heart but she had never loved him, had not always liked him.

But somehow it is his death that brings her back to herself like a cold and painful shock. What has she done, what has she become that it had come to this - that she had watched, had even smiled on the idea of killing the Queen. Had...by god she had thought her own daughter a spawn of Satan, had thought it right to abduct a babe from his mother who loved him. It is as though she has emerged from a dark fog and suddenly, suddenly all is cold and clear.

And somehow, somehow no one knew of any of it. She should confess, Jane knows, knows that perhaps it would be right she face the penalty for what she has done but...but she is a coward and she cannot do it. Cannot bring herself to leave her own son even as she tore a child from their mother and then nearly a mother from her children. And her own daughter from her.

She thinks in some part of her that death would be too easy, a relief from the pain that she must now carry. Perhaps she will merely live with everything she has lost, with the wounds she has caused, with the fact that the man she loves now loathes her. Perhaps that is a fitting punishment.

The news that Jane Seymour has entered a nunnery, leaving her small son to be raised with his sister hardly makes a ripple of news at court and concerns the King not at all. Little Edward Parr is sad and bewildered at both the weeks in which his mother had either held him too tightly or ignored him altogether and then her banishment but he is glad to see his big sister at last and his aunt and uncle who tell him that none of this is his fault. 

“Your mama is sick, my darling and she sent you to stay with us because she wanted you to be in a safe place.” 

It helps, though the hurt will always remain with him, time helps him to settle easier with it, with the fact that his mother was not a well woman but she loved him very much. Perhaps her choice, as painful as it is, was the best thing she could do in the end, was the best thing she could do in the end, Hal says to Cate who cannot help but agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone - I want to apologise for the delay in this chapter - I had a giant writers block and brain things and :gestures at wider world: but then I listened to The Horror & The Wild by The Amazing Devil on repeat and this whole thing happened. Thank you so much to everyone for reading, commenting, leaving kudos - I am so grateful always <33333.


	23. Chapter 23

Sometimes it does feel as though he is truly dreaming, because how could this be? How could he, Thomas Cromwell, a boy who had run wild around the London docks have become who he is now - a Duke, a Lord Chancellor and the beloved of a King and Queen, father of royalty. 

And now he is laying in a field of flowers, his head on his Queen’s lap, while his King sprawls beside them and they trade kisses in the warm sunshine. 

Is it any wonder that he feels as though at any moment he must wake, he thinks, but of course he does not. It is real. 

“Of course it is real my heart. It will always be so” 

Henry’s soft voice breaks into his thoughts and Thomas realises he had said the last out loud. 

-

The manor is truly the most luxurious of Henry’s manors - every comfort is provided for and the sunshine is truly beautiful, especially in the gardens and by the lake and the river that winds around the grounds - the water is clean and clear and the scent of flowers makes it an idyll for picnics, rides and even swimming. They must go slowly for Thomas still tires easily but Henry and Anne are more than happy to do so, finding joy in it. For it means that Thomas lives. That they are all together. 

So they spend much of their time simply outdoors - perhaps reading, perhaps Henry or Anne playing or singing as well as other things and when Thomas tires he can lay his head in their laps and sleep in the sunshine. It is well, Henry thinks, watching Thomas and Anne laughing together as they swim, that I can paint them myself for I would not wish any other to look upon this. 

-

They spend a happy time together, simply being with each other and delighting in the fact that they need not hide their love but the crown jewel is when the children arrive and run towards their parents, entirely heedless of protocol. Henry has never been more delighted as he watches Tommy and Bess chatter about what they have been doing and George is content in his mothers arms. 

“The Lord is very good” 

Henry says it more to himself than anything else but Anne turns to him with a smile, a smile he had never thought to see from her again. Truly, the lord is very good - Henry knows he will never deserve it but he will spend the rest of his life making sure his loves know nothing but happiness. 

-

The children had not asked why their Papa Thomas and their Mama had been ill but one day Elizabeth asks Henry apprehensively what had happened and Henry, Henry’s heart aches. 

“A very bad man hurt them, my jewel.” Henry had thought to promise that it would never happen again, wishing that that was in his power but in truth, he knew he could not do so so he settled for hugging his small daughter. 

“I will make sure you and your brothers and your Mama and Papa are as safe as they can be and that no one will hurt them or you.” 

“I know you will Papa.”

Elizabeth’s eyes shine with faith in him and Henry, Henry prays that he might live up to it. Little Tommy does not ask but he does spend more time with all of his family, does seem to make sure that his Papa Thomas and Mama have small treasures - flowers and little drawings and sometimes toys that he says will help keep them safe from “the bad men” 

Henry looks at his oldest son and knows, oh he knows that little Tommy will be a great king. 

-

“I know it is early but my loves, I had had a thought as to Tommy’s marriage - they would write to each other and I would have it be one that pleased both of them? If you would hear it?”

Tom and Anne both nodded - they had talked to Henry about how their children should have choice in their marriages and Henry had praised their idea - he knew how important a loving marriage was and he wanted his children to be happy. 

“Sultan Suleiman has a daughter Tommy’s age - I thought to find a different alliance than France or Spain or anyplace in Europe and to give England a new ally. They could write to each other when they are old enough and then perhaps, the Princess could visit?” 

“It is well done, Henry, truly.” is what Thomas says. 

“I have corresponded with Hurrem Sultan - I believe any daughter of hers would make a truly great Queen” is what Anne says. 

“My great diplomats and advisers” Henry says in admiration and gentle laughter and after that there is no more talking. 

-

“Mary, Anne and I wished to talk to you of marriage” 

Her mother was looking at Mary with both happiness and disbelief that her baby girl was grown enough that marriage was a real and tangible thing. Mary herself felt both delighted and a little scared.

“Anne cannot be here, sadly as she is still recovering but she wished me to say that your father has agreed that you should be allowed to wed as you choose.” 

“But have there...”

“Yes, Mary there have been offers - the Crown Prince of Portugal and of Sweden have expressed interest in courting you but my darling, the choice will be your own.”

Mary had never expected such a choice. Firstly because as a princess she had known all her life that she would make a marriage for alliance and secondly because she had never thought her father would allow her a choice of husband - especially a husband that might support her becoming Queen. That would never happen now, yes, with a Duke of Cornwall and a Duke of York from a legitimate wife but it would still be a risk in her fathers mind. 

She knows she has her mothers - her mama and Anne to thank for this choice and she thanks the Lord for it. She will be able to marry for love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay for a completely self indulgent chapter this actually has A Lot Of Notes. 
> 
> -I based the manor on several real places - Hales Hall & Great Barn, Thornbury Castle (in which Anne and Henry actually did spend a night), Gravetye Manor, Fawsley Hall and Cowdray Estate and kind of smushed them together. Also fun fact - there were actually plumbed in bathrooms in a fair few of the Tudor Palaces! 
> 
> -Swimming was actually a thing noble(men) did in the Renaissance because the Romans and Greeks did it and they thought that was Super Cool. This amused me. 
> 
> -Mihrimah Sultan in this universe is her parents youngest child. Her betrothal to Tommy being possible is based in the fact that a marriage between an Ottoman Princess and a French Dauphin was proposed in somewhat of the same time period. 
> 
> -Hurrem corresponding with Anne is based on **[correspondence](http://www.islamicmanuscripts.info/reference/books/Stern-1965-Documents/Stern-1965-Documents-119-157-Skilliter.pdf)** that was undertaken between Safiye Sultan and Elizabeth I


	24. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of extracts from present day historical texts analysing the relationship of Henry Tudor, Anne Boleyn and Thomas Cromwell post the events of 1536.

Henry never actually made a second offer to dissolve his marriage with Queen Anne after her and their husbands near execution in 1536 but looking at the political climate and popular sentiment of the time it would have been an impossible offer for him to make, even had she accepted. Anne Boleyn was a beloved Queen already and the clear injustice of her imprisonment and trial, especially as a pregnant woman had already made it clear in the minds of the English people - they would not accept another Queen. 

Further the simple stark injustice - that even the Queen and the Lord Chancellor could be the victim of such flimsy accusations that those who were ordered to try them had in fact, refused to do so in such a way that showed they both firmly believed in their innocence and also saw the fact that if two who were so beloved by the King could be sent to the scaffold on such a flimsy pretext so too could they be. Perhaps this might not have overridden political ambitions and the desire to please the King by itself alone but the fact of the Queens popularity certainly did. 

_(Shall I Die Without Justice: Henry VIII, Law & Love)_

The birth of Prince Thomas can only have strengthened that and with the birth of his long awaited legitimate living son Henry would have wanted no questions about his legitimacy, however much he might have resented the ‘yoke about his shoulders’ at the time. 

_(Golden World: A Biography of King Thomas I)_

We have Henry’s letters, an intact snapshot of his feelings and repentance but what Queen Anne and the Duke of Essex might have felt or said remains an enigma - any letters or thoughts of theirs on this matter are largely disappeared. We do know that the spouses shared a bed every night after a reconciliation but how much of that reconciliation was pragmatism and how much genuine forgiveness is hard to discern at this distance. 

It could be said, in many ways to be both at once without contradiction - there is no doubt that in any modern context (and perhaps even another set of circumstances in that time) and in the reign of their eldest son Anne and Thomas would likely have agreed to a divorce, without chance of forgiving Henry. The world they lived in, however had made a necessity of a reconciliation and while clearly genuine, their relationship would always have a shadow upon it. 

_(My Dark Haired Loves: An Analysis Of Henry VIII’s Love Letters)_

While his children certainly loved their ‘Papa Henry’ as they called him, the knowledge of what he had done to their beloved other parents did colour their feelings about him as they became aware of it. We do not know when they first found out but it certainly cannot have been a pleasant conversation for Henry or his children. 

_(Children Of The Trio)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -If I tell you that a lot of this was written to 'First Burn' from the Hamilton Mixtape then I am telling on myself but it was.   
-Thank you to everyone for sticking with this story which I have finally wrapped up <3333.


End file.
